Could Roses Bloom?
by Rise of the Blossom
Summary: Sai glanced downwards at his body, the sudden override of his thoughts causing his mind to blank. What did that mean? Had he been straying too close to a piece of information Danzo didn't want him to have or share? Or was it his mind's natural response to shutting down any form of emotion, even if it was just the slightest of inclination towards feeling something? (COMMISSION)
1. Chapter 1

**Commission for SorrowfulAnjel**

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**Could Roses Bloom?  
By: Rise of the Blossom  
**

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**Chapter 1**

"Until next time."

She smiled into their kiss, lingering for a moment to prolong that delicate spark she adored. "See you."

More hesitation.

Another kiss.

Fingers tangled in his shirt, silently pleading with him to stay, eyes remaining shut since she knew he had no choice but to leave.

"Sakura."

"Five more minutes," Sakura pleaded. "It's been months since I last saw you, Gaara."

Relief flooded her when he nodded, kissing her deeply once more. They'd been dressed for all of five minutes and already, Sakura wanted the clothes gone. All of them. Somehow, he always did that to her. Took away all rational thought, leaving her full of longing and exhilaration. Kissing him always gave her a thrill.

She laced her fingers through his hair, body arching in an attempt of getting closer, needing to feel more of him and she sighed.

"This will be longer than five minutes," he accused quietly, though contradicted himself by keeping her close, pinning her hips to his.

There was no chance of catching her breath when Gaara spun them, lifting her against a tree, hands strong, _sure_, as he grabbed her thighs. His breath was hot on her lips when he paused for a moment, trying to control himself, a delicious shiver running up her spine when he rolled his hips into hers.

The spark between them was undeniable, the ever-growing need damn near consuming her.

Encouraging him in breathless moans and whispers, Sakura tipped her head back against the tree, absentmindedly tugging at his robes, trying to remove them.

Somehow, she managed to hold back her groan of annoyance when Gaara cursed and pulled away, sparing her a small smile before sand swirled around his body, covering him entirely until it dispersed, disappearing into the wind, leaving the space empty. Although she only just managed to hide her frustration as she turned, hands busying themselves ensuring her appearance was nothing less than perfect, looking out at the expanse of the desert.

Their tryst had been in the cover of the forest, just before it broke out into the desert. For her, she was a day away from Suna. For him, a matter of minutes. Gods, if she was capable of travelling as fast as him, she would always be sneaking off to him. Instead, she had to wait until there was a mission that took her somewhat close to his village and even then, it was rare for her to even be able to see him.

As her senses picked up on him, her teammate emerged from the darkness of the trees, his countenance calm, relaxed – though only upon seeing her, Sakura noticed.

"You disappeared," he accused. "It is supposed to be your watch."

Shit, how was she supposed to cover that up? Sakura ran a hand through her hair, breathing deeply. "I left a clone-"

"A clone is not good enough."

No, she supposed it wasn't. He had every right to be upset with her. By leaving a clone behind, something that was capable of being destroyed with a single, powerful blow, she was effectively putting all their lives in danger. It was unbelievably selfish of her.

"I'm sorry, Sai."

"What were you doing?"

Direct. As always.

"Just taking a walk-"

It really was quite the accomplishment bringing emotion to Sai's features – the guy had them shoved so deep inside himself that he couldn't tell the difference between joy and anger, more often than not falling for her fake smiles – so when he expressed his disbelief, eyeing her sceptically, Sakura knew there was no use in lying to him.

Well, that and the fact he _was_ ANBU (ROOT to be more exact). Lying to him was pointless. She should have known that.

"You wouldn't understand," she tried.

"Are you betraying the village?"

Hurt shot straight through her, her stomach twisting sharply. "How can you ask me that?"

But he was unaffected. "Are you?"

"No. Gods, Sai. I-" Sakura cut herself off and turned away, once more looking to the desert. It was freezing, her skin covered in goosebumps – a common accompaniment to night-time in the desert, even if they were still in the cover of the forest. "I was seeing someone."

When glancing over her shoulder, she found dark eyes had narrowed fractionally. Was it out of confusion? More uncertainty? Was Sai even aware of what he was experiencing?

Taking pity on him, Sakura spoke more directly with him, approaching until there was only a foot of space between them. It was only then that she held up her hand between them, palm facing the sky, taking his without permission and forcing him to feel a spot on her skin.

He didn't look away from it. Instead, he took charge, rubbing at the grain. It didn't budge. "Sand?"

"Can you accept that this is all you need to know?" she questioned quietly, meeting his eye. Sai continued to hold onto the grain of sand, his other hand having found its way to holding her wrist when she'd tried to lower it. "For now, at least?"

Another swipe. "According to the book Relationships: The Importance of Developing and Maintaining Them, it states that the beginnings of a romantic relationship require patience and understanding, due to seeing the person in a new light. It is imperative that you allow it the time it needs to grow."

Those damned books… Sakura would never deny that they were right, but they were just words. She wished, more than anything, that Sai was able to learn such things through experiencing them. It broke her heart that he had to learn the things that came so naturally to others, that instead of getting himself out there, experiencing life and all it had to offer, he held some form of anxiety due to not truly understanding how to do so.

She offered him a smile and shifted her hand, slipping it into his, squeezing. "Exactly. And I want to learn about this person privately, you know? Without the interference of others."

"They do make a mess of things," he mused, focus on their joined hands.

Hope bloomed in her chest. Although it had been many months since they'd started their romance, it was still in the early stages. They were still in the honeymoon phase. Being unable to see one another often made it harder to progress to the next stage, but adding the fact that he was the Kazekage, of all people, made it twice as such. The sneaking around certainly didn't help matters but his being the Kazekage meant that there were many expectations of him. Meeting a Konoha kunoichi in secret wouldn't look so great for him – or her, should somebody believe they had ill intentions.

"So, will you keep my secret, Sai?" she asked softly.

"Sakura, I…" It was as he met her gaze that he paused, voice trailing off, brows faintly creasing together at her hopeful expression. "As long as this doesn't effect Konoha in any way, then yes, I will keep your secret."

She smiled, relieved.

"Thank you, Sai."

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**A/N - I'm aiming to post a chapter a week, but I'm currently working 72 hours a week minimum, meaning if they need me when I'm not on shift, they'll call me in. Hopefully, I'll be able to update for you, SorrowfulAnjel, but just know that if I don't, it's because of that.**

**Thank you for the commission and your support!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

He had to say: he expected better of her.

Dark eyes opened, staring up at the canopy of trees above his sleeping bag, their leaves still in the middle of the night. One would have presumed that the wind from the desert would have disturbed them – they were certainly close enough and he was acutely aware of the freezing temperatures and tendency for sandstorms.

That was neither here nor there, however.

"Why have you been left here?" he questioned.

At the stunned silence that met him, he sat up and watched the clone sitting beside the fire, her vibrant green eyes wide, fear etched upon her features at having been caught out.

He supposed that that was the point he should have felt annoyance towards her. He guessed that it was how their team captain, Hatake Kakashi, would react (fortunately for her, Kakashi had not accompanied them for that particular mission – had he, punishment for her lack of professionalism would have been unavoidable). As it was, he felt no particular emotion. At least, he didn't believe he did. His mind simply skipped to the step of playing with the idea of her betraying them.

Danzo's main concern had always been Konoha, thus, it was projected on all ROOT operatives (some via seals that stripped them of their freedom, others brainwashed). Should they believe Konoha's safety was breached, they were obligated to respond accordingly.

"I… Uh…"

The stuttering mess of a woman stood, wringing her hands together anxiously. Was his staring uncomfortable? Quite possibly. However, he could not be soft. He couldn't let her get away with her betrayal – if that was what he was facing.

"Sakura."

Sakura had always seemed like a flight risk to him, in a sense. He'd heard all about her demands to Uchiha Sasuke, along with her undying love for him. More than anything, more than her loyalty to their village, she had wanted to be with him. Even if that meant becoming a rogue-nin, even if she became a criminal who committed atrocious crimes. Did he personally believe she would be capable of committing crimes? No. But he'd foolishly believed she would also do all that was in her power to protect her team and village, too.

Should they happen across Uchiha Sasuke, how was he to know she would not betray them in order to be with him? How was he to know that that wasn't where she was in that moment?

Being who she was – a woman with such a huge heart, one that was repeatedly trampled on without a second thought – he knew that she would follow the Uchiha to the ends of the earth.

But then, that meant he would follow her to the ends of the earth, also.

He stood from his sleeping bag, forgoing tidying his area as he kept his gaze trained on Sakura's clone, the nerve of her existence causing him to question their team's worth in the original's eyes.

Surely, she had to know that the protection of a clone was pitiful? One blow and they would disappear, leaving those in the team who were in a deep slumber (i.e., Naruto) at the mercy of the assailants. Granted, it was possible for the original to be caught unaware and rendered unconscious or worse, dead, but less likely, nonetheless.

"I-I'm sorry," she said with a tone of desperation, already standing from her seat at fire to face him fully. "I'm really sorry, Sai."

There was the expression she often used on others – the one where those wide eyes widened further, conveying her fear and weaknesses for the world to see. She was much too open, in his eyes. Too easily read. He had books that were harder to understand than her.

His strict training shut down any and all openings to potential emotions in that moment. They couldn't be allowed to cloud his judgement, as Konoha was always the top priority. He and all other ROOT operatives – Tenzo included – were obligated to protect their village at all costs.

Even if that included eliminating a comrade.

"Where is Sakura?"

"Please-"

"Do not make this worse."

The clone sighed pitifully, gesturing behind herself. "Less than a mile that way."

She was almost a whole mile away? Sai turned away, grabbing his weapons pouch and tanto blade before setting off in the direction the clone had pointed out. His senses stretched out, picking her up with ease due to there being little life surrounding them in that moment in time.

To his right was a setting that would have made a perfect shot for his art, the foreboding aura of the lifeless trees grouped together capturing his attention briefly. He simply wouldn't have time to paint it. Perhaps afterwards he could try and recapture the image, painting it from memory alone.

Suddenly sensing another's presence, Sai reached for his scroll and brush, eyes narrowing to focus better on the glimpse of pink he spotted through the trees. Even he – someone so emotionally clueless, as many often informed him he was – was able to sense that it was a private moment, so he remained partially hidden behind a tree, listening closely.

It wasn't Uchiha Sasuke, surprisingly. He'd met him a while back and had stored his chakra signature to memory because while he knew his teammates would hate him for killing Sasuke, he had no other option. Danzo had ordered it of him, as the Uchiha posed a tremendous risk to Konoha, therefore, it had to happen.

Red hair briefly showed through the small gap he was peeping through, the person who he soon identified to be a man ducking his head, the sound of their kiss making Sai straighten. It was stupid of him really and he couldn't explain why he did it, as it alerted them of his presence, Sakura's barely contained groan of displeasure soon reaching his ears.

There was an odd sensation in the pit of his stomach, not unlike when he was caught unaware by an enemy. Yes, that was the best way to describe it. It felt like a sucker punch to the stomach, leaving him winded momentarily.

He couldn't believe he allowed it to happen, but that sensation that left him winded allowed the man to leave, his chakra signature vanishing abruptly, leaving Sai to wonder who his teammate had involved herself with.

He knew that it was not a Konoha-nin – he had lists of everyone that'd been procured by Danzo, ones that were regularly updated. Nobody matched the description of what little he'd seen.

It would be best for him to leave the safety of the trees, Sai decided, even though his stomach continued to churn.

Was that what they called nerves? That feeling? Was he nervous about confronting his teammate, despite somewhat already doing so? Or was it betrayal he was experiencing? That would make more sense, Sai thought, since he had proof of her meetings with someone not from their village.

Regardless of that feeling, his shoulders grew slack momentarily at the sight of Sakura. She was unharmed, though seemed irritable – he'd quickly learned not to push his luck when she was in a bad mood, though knew that in that moment, he had no choice but to pressure her for answers.

Her hair was unkempt despite her attempts to straighten it out, her chest only just returning to its ordinary rhythm of up and down. It seemed she'd been breathless at some point, no doubt from the kiss she'd shared with the strange man.

His resolve hardened.

"You disappeared. It is supposed to be your watch."

She ran her hand through that odd shade of pink hair, the sight never failing to remind him of springtime, especially when accompanied by those wide green eyes. They grew wider at his accusation, like he'd pushed her for an answer she couldn't give at that moment in time.

That was too bad.

"I left a clone–"

"A clone is not good enough." Not nearly good enough.

Maybe, rather than the foreign sensation in the pit of his stomach being betrayal or nerves, it stemmed from annoyance? After all, Sai knew Sakura to an extent. He knew that despite her weak heart, she was always professional. She always put the mission and their team first. Never before had she so recklessly endangered their lives in such a way.

He wished he could understand not only what was going on within him, but also what on earth was going on in her mind to leave them defenceless in the middle of a forest, where anybody could have been watching them.

"I'm sorry, Sai."

Their bond could not distract him. It wasn't allowed to.

"What were you doing?" he demanded, even though it was obvious what she'd been doing.

While he would admit that yes, he didn't understand relationships, he'd read enough books to know what happened. He had studied the art of seduction, though he never actually had to put it into practice.

"Just taking a walk–"

And now she was lying to him.

The realisation had his features contorting in a way he'd never experienced before and he paused in speaking, his mind screeching to a halt. Sai just barely refrained from reaching up and touching his face to see what the difference was. It'd come with a flash of… He was unsure. Something had burst from deep within his chest, similar to being stabbed. It had caused a pained reaction within him – at least, he believed his brain had processed it as such, for some reason. There was no physical pain, but it was processed like it was.

Sakura no doubt took his silence as him demanding the truth, because she then said, "You wouldn't understand."

She was probably right about that, but Sai knew he couldn't let her onto that.

As good as her heart was, she had the tendency to be selfish from time to time. A shining example of that flaw was Naruto's promise to her – their shared promise of bringing Uchiha Sasuke back to Konoha. It caused him great physical, emotional and even mental pain trying to keep that promise and due to her love for Sasuke, Sakura failed to see Naruto's suffering. She couldn't see what others could and that was Naruto's feeling obligated to keep the promise to her.

"Are you betraying Konoha?" he questioned. Although he couldn't understand much in terms of emotions, he would understand her answer. It was a simple yes or no question.

Her expression crumbled, her hurt radiating to him from every pore in her body. "How can you ask me that?"

Quite easily, really. "Are you?"

"No. Gods, Sai. I–" Awkward frustration had her looking away briefly until she turned her back on him entirely. He placed the body language as shame – or perhaps guilt – if he was following his books correctly, anyway. "I was seeing someone."

Yes, he knew that already. Did she really think of him as stupid?

Again, his face acted without his consent, his eyes narrowing in response to the burst in his chest.

It was with a sigh that Sakura turned to face him once more, having stolen a glance to gauge his reaction like he was capable of expressing emotions like an ordinary person. She approached until there was barely a foot of space between their bodies, immediately holding her hand up between them, palm facing the sky.

As meticulous as he was in anything that passed him, Sai instantly spotted the difference in her skin, gaze glued to the grain seemingly stuck to her. There was a tightening feeling in his chest, the implications of what he was seeing leaving him near breathless.

"Sand?" It wasn't meant to be a question. He knew damn well what he was looking at.

She had no idea what she was getting herself involved in, did she?

Unsure of how to deal with such a dangerous situation, Sai could only rub his thumb over the sand, a part of himself wanting it to rub away. Sakura was playing the rare prank on him. She had to be.

"Can you accept that this is all you need to know?" she questioned quietly, meeting his eye. Sai continued to hold onto the grain of sand, his other hand having found its way to holding her wrist when she'd tried to lower it. "For now, at least?"

How was he supposed to act now? He would have to tread carefully, he knew that. Haruno Sakura was dear to many but knowing that she was now intimate with the Kazekage, of all people, could prove to be disastrous. Should she be conspiring against the village and, in turn, become one of Danzo's targets, what would happen? How would Sabaku no Gaara, the notorious psychopath and ruthless former jinchūriki react? Sai found he had no answer. He didn't know him in the slightest.

He would have to gain as much insight on the man as possible, he decided, making a mental note to question Naruto. Being subtle hardly mattered to the blond. He wouldn't demand to know why.

Another swipe of his thumb as he carefully considered his next words, soon murmuring, "According to the book Relationships: The Importance of Developing and Maintaining Them, it states that the beginnings of a romantic relationship require patience and understanding, due to seeing the person in a new light. It is imperative that you allow it the time it needs to grow."

Reporting back to Danzo would become one of his most important tasks. If Sakura, the Hokage's apprentice, was conspiring against the village…

She offered him a smile and shifted her hand, slipping it into his, squeezing. "Exactly. And I want to learn about this person privately, you know? Without the interference of others."

The contact caused his thoughts to stutter and Sai looked to their joined hands, unable to explain the sudden weight that filled him. It was accompanied by the image of Sakura's lifeless body being found by their teammates, her startingly green eyes boring into his, filled with betrayal and an accusatory stare that struck him deeply.

"They do make a mess of things," he mused, unable to shake the image.

"So, will you keep my secret, Sai?" she asked softly.

No. He couldn't. Danzo had to know what was happening. He could feel the knowledge he'd recently acquired demanding him to move, to return to the village and inform his leader of the potential danger.

"Sakura, I…"

It was as he met her gaze that he paused, voice trailing off, brows creasing together in a way he was unused to at her hopeful expression, that weight in his chest increasing in strength, managing to make his throat constrict with the realisation that shook him to his core.

_He didn't want her to die._

_He couldn't report the threat to Danzo._

Why?

"As long as this doesn't effect Konoha in any way, then yes, I will keep your secret."

_Why was he agreeing to help her?_

It was all he could really do for her.

"Thank you, Sai."

_Don't thank me._

If Danzo found out about her relationship, she would die.

And it was out of his control, thanks to the seal placed on his tongue.

He couldn't even warn her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Gritting her teeth, she rushed forward, taking down the enemy with a swift clothesline to the neck. It instantly crushed his throat and she looked up at her teammates, not surprised in the least to find everyone else had been dealt with already.

"That's the last of them," muttered Naruto and his hands came to his knees, eyes squinting.

She knew he wasn't injured or fatigued. A simple once over with her chakra informed her of that. No, Naruto was simply out of breath. If he had to, he would be more than capable of resuming the battle – he could go another ten rounds of ambushes before feeling exhausted like she and Sai currently were.

"Are you injured?" she asked Sai, glancing over her shoulder at him. As always, he was stood tall, his features relaxed into that empty mask of his. There wasn't a speck of dirt on his clothes. "Sai?"

"Hm?"

He was lost in his thoughts? Sakura turned fully, frowning. "Are you hurt?"

"No."

But he definitely wasn't his usual self, she decided instantly and her green eyes narrowed fractionally. Was it due to what he'd discovered the night before? While Sakura could understand it was a shock, since she and Gaara were hardly a couple anyone would expect (they'd been shocked themselves, discovering they had feelings for one another), it was hardly enough to distract someone like Sai. At least, she wouldn't have thought it was.

She couldn't ask him yet, however. Reminding herself of that, she faced Naruto once more, her hands coming to her hips. "Since you have so much energy left, you can dispose of the evidence."

"What?" he whined. "That's the worst part!"

Merely rolling her eyes at him in response, Sakura scooped low, plucking a kunai from the grass and twirling it on her finger. There was a special design on the handle, she noticed, abruptly stopping the spinning and she tilted her head to the side, wondering if it held any deeper meaning than most likely being a clan's symbol.

She looked up when Sai turned his back on them, hands racing through signs and destroying the evidence before Naruto had finished his predictable rant about _why_ he shouldn't have to do the dirty jobs.

It was unusual for him, Sakura couldn't help but worry. He usually had so much more patience than that, especially when it came to Naruto. Normally, they ignored the blond as he whined through his rant, waiting him out until he eventually sighed and got on with it. What had changed?

"Let's go," he ordered tonelessly, already walking away.

"Wait," demanded Naruto with a scowl. "Shouldn't we wait until the fire dies?"

"No."

Warily, she exchanged a glance with Naruto, the pair of them frowning at each other before focusing on their teammate. By now, he was almost out of the clearing entirely and so they rushed after him, only pausing to quickly look over their shoulders, making sure everything was cleared up. As expected of Sai, however, the job was done meticulously.

His supposedly sour mood didn't diminish in the slightest throughout their seven hour journey back to Konoha and apparently, Naruto's endless questions asking what was wrong (or, as he so eloquently put: what had crawled up his ass and died) weren't helping in the slightest. If anything, it made him retreat further and it had Sakura worriedly watching his back.

Surely the cause of his sudden change in behaviour wasn't because of her relationship? It made little sense to her. Although, Sakura supposed, he _had_ asked whether she was betraying Konoha – which was understandable, now that her initial fear of first being found out had disappeared. Maybe he needed more to ease his mind?

The sight of Konoha's imposing gates emerging from over the dusty road they walked had Sakura sighing with relief and she couldn't help but smile at Naruto's whoop of joy. It appeared Sai was glad to finally be home too, because even he picked up his pace.

She would ambush him after reporting to the Hokage, Sakura decided. Although she doubted it _was_ the cause of his bad mood, she would demand to know whether it was and _if_ it was, then… Then, what? What could she do? She'd already assured him that Konoha wasn't in any danger. She and Gaara weren't plotting against the village. What more could she do to ease his mind?

"Oh, you're back," the chūnin at the gates greeted them, waving. "Welcome home, Team Seven."

Smiling cheerfully at the warm greeting, Sakura asked, "How's things?"

"Dull," he replied, sighing. "We want to go on missions again."

The poor guy was barely scraping thirty, yet he and his friend had been stuck with gate duty for the past two years due to mouthing off, believing Tsunade couldn't hear them. Sakura _had_ asked how much longer the punishment would go on for, but the blonde allegedly couldn't even recall the incident and shrugged, saying they wouldn't be there unless they'd seriously pissed her off. So, for that fact alone, they would remain there.

His friend was no doubt on the dinner run, Sakura thought when she noticed he was nowhere to be seen. She offered another smile and leaned down, scribbling her signature in the designated box, complete with a quick doodle of a cherry blossom.

"I'm surprised Hokage-sama hasn't complained about that."

Sakura looked up, humming. "Tsunade-sama isn't the one who reads through these. It's Shizune-senpai."

"What?" he demanded in a whine. "Man, we've been scrupulous with these things in the hopes she'd see how sorry we are."

She shrugged in a 'what can you do' sort of way before passing the pen to Sai, briefly meeting his eye and refraining from frowning at the coldness she found there.

"Keep up with the good work," she told them once they'd all signed in, walking away backwards to continue the conversation. "Shizune-senpai's probably the only one who can convince Tsunade-sama to change her mind."

It wasn't entirely true, but she had to give the poor guy _some_ hope.

"Bye, Sakura-chan!"

She waved, eyes closing with her smile until she turned around, jogging to catch up with her team.

"She's forgotten all about them, hasn't she?" Naruto asked suspiciously and at her nod, he snickered. "What the hell did they say to piss her off that badly?"

Humming, she tapped her chin, trying to recall the memory for herself but since she hadn't been there, it was impossible and she sure as hell wasn't about to remind her shishou of it (even if she claimed she couldn't remember, it would dampen her mood massively and that wasn't a risk she was willing to take). All she could really remember about the whole thing was Tsunade's rage for the rest of the day. She'd snapped at everyone for the smallest of things, already hitting the bottle by noon. Whatever they'd said, Sakura decided in that moment, certainly warranted the punishment. She hadn't seen Tsunade so wound up in a long time.

"I don't know," she replied, shrugging again. "I just hope I never make the same mistake."

"Yeah, no shit," he said with a laugh. "You'd get it worse than anyone."

Without a doubt. There were higher expectations for her when it came to Tsunade and if she made a mistake that anyone could have made, the punishment would be more severe because as Tsunade's apprentice, she shouldn't be making such careless mistakes. In her shishou's eyes, anyway. At times she would let little things slide, but the blonde had the tendency to make an example out of her from time to time, scaring others from making similar mistakes (she did it with all her favourites, thinking about the many times Kakashi was punished – not just her).

They continued to guess at what could have provoked such a harsh sentence as they walked to the Hokage's Tower, continuously allowing their curious gazes to drift over to Sai's rigid muscles. They silently wondered what was wrong with their friend, each coming up with their own suspicions.

"Maybe he has a lover," Naruto whispered, leaning closer to her ear. "And they've had a huge fight that he's got to face now."

Sai? A lover? She held her laughter back behind her hand.

The only thing stopping her from continuing their conversation was entering the tower, mainly due to Sai now walking alongside them rather than a few metres ahead (that in itself was odd, Sakura couldn't help but notice, because he valued the exchanges between her and Naruto, wishing to understand them more by experiencing them for himself).

"You're back early," Shizune said as she happened across their stroll to the office. "Did it go well?"

"Of course," boasted Naruto and he held out a victory sign with his fingers, grinning from ear to ear. "You don't doubt our abilities, do you?"

She chuckled at that. "I'm no fool, Naruto-kun."

That could be taken either way, but as expected of her blond teammate, he took it as a compliment, his grin somehow managing to widen.

"C'mon," Sakura said with a roll of her eyes – a move that made her sibling disciple chuckle again. "Tsunade-sama will be waiting for us."

"She's free right now," Shizune called out to them helpfully and Sakura rejoiced at the information, as the last thing anybody wanted after a mission was to sit around waiting to report. "See you around!"

Once more, Sai was walking ahead, forcing them to rush after him. She knocked Naruto upside the head when he snarled at him to slow the hell down, narrowing her eyes in warning at him. They'd never really seen Sai in a bad mood and while she trusted her teammate with her life, she didn't want to find out how bad that mood could get for them.

Tsunade's doors were already open when they reached her office, though before Sakura could announce their presence, Sai shocked her by walking in after a single knock. For several seconds, she froze, hand tangling in Naruto's shirt (not that it was necessary once he'd figured out what Sai had done) to still him too, the pair of them fearing for Sai's life as they awaited the typical explosion of rage for his rude entry.

But there was nothing.

Warily, she released Naruto and silently approached the door, taking a calming breath to steel her nerves for the bloodbath she would no doubt walk in on.

And then she squealed pitifully when Sai poked his head back out, eyes blank as he watched her stumble backwards and into Naruto, who also jumped due to her fright.

"Are you coming or not?"

"Y-Yeah," Sakura said and tried her best to smile at him.

It was difficult getting a ready on her shishou when they entered the office together, for it seemed the older woman was keeping a lid on anything she was experiencing in that moment. Worriedly, she glanced Sai's way, considering just how safe her secret affair was with him, before looking forward again, deciding she would feign ignorance unless someone brought it up.

"You're all back earlier than expected," Tsunade began, not waiting as Naruto shut the door behind himself. "I trust all went well?"

"Yes," responded Sai. He was the captain when they were sent out without Kakashi due to his being ANBU. It'd irked Naruto for the longest time and Sakura had suspicions that it still did on occasion, though he rarely mentioned it nowadays. "The enemy was successfully located and defeated."

"The evidence of our involvement?"

"Destroyed, as instructed."

"Good." Was her shishou distracted? Why did she look as though she wanted to be anywhere but there? That was… _extremely_ unusual for her, as no matter how badly she longed to be anywhere else than the office, she remained professional and kept it hidden. "Then I expect written reports from everyone by tomorrow afternoon."

Afternoon? But then that meant–

"Ero-sennin is back?" exclaimed Naruto excitedly, his grin spreading wider when Tsunade nodded once. "It's about damn time!"

Well, that certainly explained Tsunade's eagerness to leave. She and Jiraiya had made a bet a few months back (one she wouldn't fill Sakura in on, much to her annoyance) and since winning the bet, she'd been restlessly waiting for her teammate to return. Why? The loser had to pay for the entire night's binge drinking.

Okay, her shishou was… classier than binge drinking, but to the average person, that was what it was.

"Is there anything else?" questioned Tsunade, hands folding on the table.

Unknowingly, Sakura held her breath, glancing to Sai from the corner of her eyes when his mouth opened like he was about to say something. It felt like she was sweating buckets, her nerves causing her to clench her fists behind her back, struggling to resume normal breathing.

_Please, don't. Please. Please. _Please._ Please don't tell her!_

His mouth shut and he shook his head.

"Very well," she accepted. "You're dismissed."

Relieved, Sakura was the first to leave the office, waiting outside on the street for her teammates, eyes immediately seeking Sai's and she smiled gratefully. He merely looked away and she bit the inside of her cheek in response.

Had she asked too much of him?

Had she ruined their friendship?

It was worriedly that she looked to him, frowning at his unapproachable aura. "Sai?"

"Hm?"

She bit her lip and stepped closer to him, ignoring Naruto's demands to know what was happening. "Would you like to escort me home?"

"What?" demanded Naruto.

He didn't even look at her. "Not really."

"_What?"_ came his shriek.

A hand grabbed her shoulder, tugging her back and behind what she guessed was supposed to be the safety of Naruto's body, her eyes narrowing when he instantly tore into Sai, his verbal onslaught finally evoking a response from him. It seemed too lacking to call it annoyance (which it couldn't be, because annoyance was an emotion and Sai apparently couldn't experience or understand them), but Sakura wasn't sure what else to call it.

Glancing around them, she smiled sheepishly, cheeks raging at the incredulous and annoyed stares being sent their way. In response to the shame and embarrassment, she grabbed Naruto's jacket and yanked him back, giving a swift slap upside the head to silence him momentarily.

Only momentarily, sadly. "You sure know how to pick them, Sakura-chan," he muttered sulkily.

The statement caught Sai's attention, interrupting him as he'd been about to turn and leave. "Excuse me?"

Naruto rubbed his sore head and frowned. "Boyfriends, idiot."

"You know-"

Her heart skipped a beat when Sai started talking and she lunged for him, arm snaking around his neck and yanking him down to her height, hand slapping over his mouth.

She smiled cheerfully, nervously. "Ignore him, Naruto. He's got a concussion."

The frown on the blond's face deepened, looking around himself as he finally realised how much attention they'd attracted. "But he didn't hurt his-"

She used the distracting crowd to disappear, dragging Sai with her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

He supposed he had done something wrong, considering Sakura's reaction.

Since there was no use in resisting her brute strength (especially when she was angered or upset), Sai resigned himself to being dragged away like he was a lowly child, rather than the elite shinobi he was. At least she was no longer smothering him, he supposed.

Despite her manhandling him, Sakura smiled politely to the villagers, who in turn didn't question their interaction. To them, it wasn't wholly unusual witnessing her acting impulsively, driven by her emotions. It was quite often when watching Haruno Sakura and her inability to control her emotions that he became somewhat grateful towards Danzo's teachings. He couldn't imagine completing half of the missions he had while weighed down by something as pointless as emotions.

One book in particular that he'd read stated women were delicate creatures, therefore needed to be treated differently to how men were treated – for greetings, they'd used an example of a fist bump with a male, but a respectful distance from a woman, unless they showed a desire to be touched.

Perturbed by it after an exceptionally long mission with Team Seven and seeing many new sides to Sakura, he'd asked Kakashi for advice on the matter. The Copy-Nin's response had been to briefly flick through the pages and Sai had made sure to take note of each reaction he'd displayed. As expected of such an elite, however, he showed none. Instead, he'd handed it back with a sigh, saying with a tip of his chin in Sakura's general direction, _"Women are not as delicate as they often appear."_

They'd discussed her ability to bounce back from traumas, their captain informing him of all the times she had been defeated both in battle and in love. Even though she'd experienced immense betrayal and heartache, Kakashi had told him quietly, she persevered. She got up, dusted herself off and got on with things, because she didn't have time to be weak.

Was it polite to greet women in the way the book instructed? Sure, Kakashi had said, especially if the woman was someone like Hyuuga Hinata, he'd used for an example. However, with their Sakura, she longed to be seen as an equal, so for her in particular, a fist bump was fine.

"_All in all-"_ he'd added in conclusion, _"-most people are driven by emotions – it has nothing to do with their gender. Just take a look at Naruto and Sakura, if you're ever confused. They can be equally as emotional as the other. In some cases, there is a divide between the sexes or a necessity to treat a person differently, however, everyone should be treated and regarded equally. In terms of how to approach a person: figure out their cues and ticks. Discover what the boundaries are. Read the individual's body language."_

His wise input had allowed Sai to recall the women he'd encountered in his line of work – the majority of them not being delicate in the least.

In a way, he supposed Sakura was one of the toughest women he'd met. As Kakashi had mentioned: her ability to get back up was admirable. He'd seen her take supposedly fatal blows and heal herself without batting an eyelash. He'd seen her take down men thrice her size like it was nothing. Her heart had repeatedly been broken yet she continued to wish nothing but happiness for the boy who caused her suffering.

He wondered if he was supposed to encourage her new relationship, if it meant moving on from the toxicity that was her love for Uchiha Sasuke?

So lost in his thoughts, Sai was surprised when they approached his apartment, causing him to question why he was allowing such a thing to happen.

While his teammates knew where he lived, they had never visited, though Sai supposed that was more of his own doing since he was usually the one informing the others of a mission (unless they were individually visited by a messenger). Moreover, if they happened to be meeting outside of missions, then they arranged it before they went their separate ways. They'd had no reason to go to his apartment, just as he had no reason to go to either of theirs.

What would she think of it?

Did it matter what she thought of it, he pondered.

The apartment was filled with both complete and incomplete paintings, his numerous canvases instantly granting him freedom as Sakura took an interest in them. She crouched beside one of the largest, her bad mood seemingly dissipating at the painting.

"This is me," she murmured.

Yes, it was, though he was surprised she could even tell. Stepping to her side, Sai lifted the canvas, critically assessing the dainty hand covered in callouses and bruises. By far, it was his most detailed painting – he'd taken great care with the marks on her hand and the way she tended to hold a kunai to her side for a second before holding it in front of herself.

He'd been inspired to paint it while watching Sakura train, taking mere seconds to jot down the outline in his sketchbook before she'd moved.

"It's beautiful," she complimented him while standing. Her head tilted to the side, eyes fixated on the painting. "You even got the scar on my thumb."

Of course he had. It was one of the first things he'd noticed when he first saw a close up of her hands. He knew it was from the times she'd summoned Katsuyu – mainly shinobi had similar scars, but hers… Perhaps it was a show of her superficial personality that she continuously bit over the same mark, surprising him as he'd thought at that time that it was the tidiest scar (of that kind, of course) he'd ever seen.

Lifting her hand, she huffed with what Sai could only guess as amusement, but he found his gaze trailing from her scarred thumb to the grain of sand that continued to cause him to feel out of sorts. He couldn't explain why, but it stirred something within him.

No doubt sensing his shift in attention since he'd been anything but subtle, Sakura dropped her hand and sighed. "Sai…"

Carefully, he placed the canvas back in its rightful place of being propped up against the wall. He'd yet to decide what he wanted to do with it – with any of them. There was no specific purpose for any of his paintings. He didn't create them for anyone other than himself, although part of him did wonder if it was wasteful leaving them to clutter his apartment once he was done with them.

"Are you mad with me?"

Being mad insinuated he felt emotions, but Sai honestly contemplated the possibility. It would make sense, he knew that. It would explain why he felt so out of sorts. Surely that wasn't the case, though? Danzo was nothing but thorough when it came to his operatives, ensuring there was little to no chance of being swayed by emotion or bonds. To allow such a thing to happen would cause him problems down the line and he preferred trustworthy operatives who he could rely on.

Although he couldn't be entirely honest with her, Sai felt the situation would be straightened out much faster if he told the truth about what he was experiencing. "I am perplexed. I cannot understand why you would choose the Kazekage, of all people."

"Of all…" Sakura trailed off with a sigh and shake of her head. "You're making it seem like nothing special, when there's more to it than that."

He hadn't been aware that he'd been passing it off as such. Was he supposed to apologise at that point?

"Gaara, he…" She shook her head again, smiling to herself. "He understands me."

How would that progress to a relationship? Was that what people looked for in a romantic relationship? Someone who understood them? But if that was the case, then again, why had Sakura chosen the Kazekage of all people? He could name many individuals who knew her well and understood her – himself included.

To prove his point, he said, "You prefer to warm up alone before training with others."

Her confusion was obvious even to him. "Excuse me?"

"You also prefer to drink your tea while it is still hot – if it goes lukewarm, you will throw it out."

"Well, that's just-"

"You don't hold grudges, even if you look ready to tear a person's head off."

She pursed her lips.

Was he making her understand yet?

"Even if it is only for a few minutes, you enjoy meeting with friends and spending time with them. You especially enjoy drinking tea with your best friend and rival, Yamanaka Ino at the small shop closest to the hospital, usually during your lunch break."

Her eyebrow started ticking.

That wasn't a good sign, was it?

"You also carry a photograph of Team Seven – the original team – with you at all times. When you think the rest of the team are sleeping, you get it out and stare at it. Sometimes you say aloud that you'll see Uchiha Sasuke soon, when he comes home."

The anger that had been building faltered.

"You are not hard to understand," he assured her and smiled. Hopefully, his smile wouldn't make her uncomfortable like it often did. He'd been practicing it. "Actually, you're quite simple."

Then, the anger came back with a vengeance, exploding out of her as Sakura snarled, "You don't understand me at all." Trembling hands clenched into fists and Sai eyed his art, wondering if she would dare to try and use them as projectiles – she often used whatever she could get her hands on, taking after her shishou in that regard. If she made one move towards them, he would restrain her. "I'm not a subject for you examine – I'm a person. Sure," she relented, frustration leaving her with an agitated sigh. "You've noticed a few things but quit being so militant about it all. _Why_ do I do them? What emotions do I feel that pushes me to being that way? _Damn it_, Sai. Why the hell are you so frustrating?"

He could only stare, unable to place where he had messed up.

"Any shinobi could tell you my routine or likes and dislikes if they've watched me for as long as you have." Threateningly, despite the tears filling her eyes, she took a step towards him and demanded, "But do you know _why_ I hold onto hope of Sasuke-kun returning? Do you understand _why_ hate being alone?"

Why?

He… hadn't thought about that.

"Until you know those things," she continued in a harsh whisper, voice lowering with the weight of her emotions. "Until you know why I do the things I do, then you don't know me at all and you have _no right_ to question my choices."

She brushed by him without another word, slamming his door behind her, leaving him to stand there, immobilised as he realised how _right_ she was.

He didn't understand her at all.

* * *

**A/N - I think I'm getting my mojo back. I'm actually on a role with my stories and updates!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Guilt was a stomach churning emotion, one that was currently leaving her to fall back against Sai's apartment building, gaze drawn to the sky.

She shouldn't have snapped at him. She shouldn't have lashed out the way she had. She should have taken the time to explain herself, especially since it was so painstakingly obvious Sai was trying his best to understand her. It wasn't his fault he didn't understand her emotions, or the motivation behind her actions.

For the umpteenth time, she pushed away from the wall only for her hand to hesitate over the handle of the door to his building. A second later and Sakura was groaning in aggravation, throwing herself against the wall again. Soon enough, someone would come out to shoo her away, growling about loitering delinquents.

Green eyes hardened.

She dared them to call her such a thing when her mood–

_No_. Damn it. She had to get the hell over herself.

"Well, what do we have here?"

Her eyes lost their hardness and she spun, grinning. "Kakashi-sensei!"

The smile was returned with a familiar eye crease and he lowered his book, revealing his ever-present mask. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but what are you doing here? I've already spoken to Hokage-sama about our mission, so it can't be that."

Oh, that was right. Kakashi lived in the same complex as Sai. Huh, she wondered how that had slipped her mind, but then again, none of them really frequented each other's homes for fear of overstepping boundaries. Of course, that didn't really apply to Naruto who was always forcing his overbearing presence on others, but more often than not, they intercepted him somewhere on his journey.

Wait.

"Mission?" she repeated lamely. Even though Sakura knew she'd look foolish for blinking so owlishly, she couldn't help it and continued to do so, staring up at her former sensei in barely constrained excitement. "We're going on a mission together?"

He smirked. "Have you guys really missed me that much?"

Without a doubt. Yamato was a great captain and all, especially with his generous gifts to the team of luxurious inns and hot springs, but… Well, he wasn't Kakashi. Sakura had found (after the acceptance of many gifts, of course) that bathing in a hot bath, relaxing and knowing a feast was being prepared for her, had nothing on camping out in the woods and sitting at a fire, enjoying one another's company and truly bonding as a team.

Although he was slippery as hell when it came to his life, Sakura was confident in her declaration of knowing Kakashi a hell of a lot better than she knew Yamato – and it had nothing to do with time spent together, either. After all, Kakashi hadn't really been around that much and when their team fell to pieces, he was given other missions, leaving Sakura to study under Tsunade instead.

"So?"

She blinked. "So?"

Concern flashed through his eyes, soon followed by suspicion and Sakura didn't fail to notice the way he glanced upwards, no doubt assessing his balcony to ensure nobody had meddled with his traps. Was he expecting Naruto to suddenly fling himself over the edge, intent on seeing beneath the mask?

Sakura almost smiled at the bittersweet nostalgia that washed through her, reminding her of the original Team Seven's antics.

"What brings you here?"

"Oh." Gesturing behind her with returning guilt and frustration, she said, "I was talking to Sai."

"Oh, that's right. He lives here too."

He'd forgotten too? In his own damn building?

Another pause. Then, with a sigh, he closed his book with a snap. "Want to talk about it?"

His offer reminded Sakura of how far each team member had come in terms of wanting to understand one another.

…including Sai.

"I think it's just a misunderstanding," she murmured unsurely and once more looked to the handle of the complex. Would Sai even want to talk with her after more or less accusing him? "Or maybe a breakdown in communication. I don't even know at this point," muttered Sakura with a frustrated rub of her forehead. "He _thinks_ he knows me and I got…"

"Defensive."

When had they even started walking? Sakura frowned at the street around them, but even though it annoyed her that she was following him blindly, she continued to do so anyway, sighing.

"Maybe, I guess."

"Maybe, or definitely?"

She rolled her eyes. "Definitely."

Kakashi hummed thoughtfully and she quickened her pace to walk alongside him, curiously peering up at his eye. Sadly, she was on his blindside, meaning she had absolutely nothing to go on. If she wanted any hopes in guessing at what he was feeling, she would have to discreetly position herself on his right side. Or maybe Kakashi had done that intentionally?

"Is there any particular reason why you're suddenly taking an interest in what Sai-san thinks of you?"

Messy red hair and intense blue eyes flashed through her mind.

"Nope," she answered much too quickly.

Straightening when Kakashi finally turned his head to look down on her disbelievingly, she smiled shyly, pretending like she _hadn't_ been preparing to slip to his other side.

Dropping the bashful façade, she sighed. "He found something out that he shouldn't have and keeps digging to try and see if there's some kind of deeper meaning to it all an-and–"

"It frustrates you having someone bulldozing their way into your life."

"Precisely!" she groaned, only to narrow her eyes suddenly and glare up at her former sensei, coming to an abrupt halt after jumping in front of him, forcing Kakashi to stop too. "Why do you sound like you're speaking from experience?"

He smiled placatingly. "No reason."

That man was equally as frustrating as Sai, damn it.

Folding her arms over her chest, Sakura continued to glare up at Kakashi suspiciously, wondering if she could possibly wait him out.

But, as always, he weaselled his way out of the difficult situation, smiling cheerily at the fast approaching messenger. "Ah. Looks like you're being summoned by Hokage-sama."

Did it? When the messenger could possibly be going to _anyone_ in the freaking street? How did Kakashi know that it was–

Green eyes widened and snapped back to where he'd been standing, only to narrow dangerously when she found the spot empty save for the smoke that slowly drifted away with the light breeze.

_That man…_

"Haruno-san, Hokage-sama wishes to see you."

Her eyebrow began ticking.

That was just a coincidence.

* * *

How was Sai already there?

_Never mind that_, she scolded herself.

Coming to stand before her shishou, she squared her shoulders and tipped her chin up fractionally, inwardly grinning with joy when a small smile of pride briefly shone in those amber eyes as they assessed her critically.

The pride dropped instantly.

"Where is Hatake Kakashi?"

The question sucked the joy straight out of her and caused her to grow rigid, fists threatening to clench.

_If he was about to anger her without being there to suffer the repercussions, leaving it to their team…_

"I just saw him, Tsunade-sama," Sakura explained carefully. "He seems to be under the impression that you have both already discussed the mission."

"Oh?"

She swallowed hard.

Then, Tsunade huffed and leaned back in her seat. "That man will be the death of me. Shizune!"

Instantly, the door behind them was reopening, but Sakura didn't look behind herself to see her sibling disciple like Naruto did, instead keeping her attention on Tsunade, knowing that a fickle attention span aggravated her.

"Yes, Tsunade-sama?"

"Find me Kakashi," she ordered, amber eyes narrowing. "Use whatever means necessary to bring him to me."

She heard Naruto gulp.

She silently begged of him not to try and defend their sensei.

Going off the basic assessment of there being no sake within arms reach of her shishou, Tsunade was definitely going to be in a foul mood – that thought was confirmed by Tonton's deflated oink a mere second after Shizune's startle at the blonde's glare.

No sake meant no patience. No patience meant _watch your fucking step_.

"What's all this about, Baa-chan? Are we being sent out already?"

Her brow began its warning tick.

_Don't complain, idiot!_

"Is that a problem?" questioned Tsunade in a lowered voice.

Before the moron could get them all into trouble, Sakura lunged and secured him into an unbreakable headlock that immediately had his face turning a deep shade of red, all the while smiling at her shishou with a nervous apologetic look.

"Please forgive us, Tsunade-sama," she told her, waving the other hand in front of her face. "Naruto hit his head while on our last mission – it must still be hurting."

"What?" he rasped, trying to straighten up but he was no match for her strength. "My head doesn't hurt–"

She thumped him unashamedly, still smiling even as he went limp in her hold. "See?"

Sai was watching her closely, but she paid him no mind. The guilt for snapping at him the way she had continued to grip at her stomach. So, what did one do to alleviate the pressures of their problems? They very, very healthily swept it under the rug, leaving it to fester until it was a much bigger problem to tackle.

_No_, Sakura thought with a sigh. She couldn't do that to him. At some point possibly before their mission, she would talk about it with him and make a real effort to understand where he was coming from.

"What will our mission entail?" he questioned on behalf of the team.

At least she could rely on Sai to not piss Tsunade off – well, for now. He had a tendency to irk people with his cluelessness at the best of times, though only because it often had him saying the wrong thing and offending people (not including Naruto, who he purposely offended).

"You will be escorting the client to her betrothed," said Tsunade with a huff, tossing the mission scroll in his direction. Effortlessly, Sai caught it though made no move to open it. "It's an arranged marriage and according to the mission details, she has been difficult."

Meaning they had to make sure she didn't run away.

Sakura's stomach sank, but she said nothing. It wasn't her place to and she knew her shishou would disagree with forcing someone into marriage too, however because she was professional, she didn't let it show. There was no way to refuse the mission request either, because then they would earn a bad reputation for turning people away, essentially giving the other villages their business.

She couldn't imagine what it felt like being trapped in an arranged marriage and her heart went out to the woman.

"Make sure she gets there in one piece, _on time_," Tsunade ordered. "She's a relative of the daimyō and he's paying triple to ensure this marriage is a success."

Oh, Gods. The freaking daimyō?

"I don't want to hear about any incidents," she continued in a warning tone, gaze trailing to Naruto and narrowing, causing Sakura to instinctively straighten them both up. "Do whatever you have to, to keep him under control. Understand?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

"For the safety of the client and her betrothed, once the captain of the team has read the scroll, it must be burned."

Was that solely due to her being the relative of the daimyō? Or was her betrothed also someone important?

"Do not take any risks that could potentially disclose her identity to outsiders. She could be used as a bargaining chip."

Ah. Probably just hers. "Yes, Tsunade-sama."

"It is essential that this mission is a success," added Tsunade and she leaned forward, planting her elbows on the desk and folding her hands to hide her mouth behind them. Sakura had learned long ago that it was a nervous habit of hers, when Tsunade wanted extra protection to hide her emotions. It unnerved her to know her shishou was anxious. "Remain professional at all times."

They both nodded.

"You're dismissed. Sai, take that scroll straight to Kakashi. You will probably see him before I do."

* * *

"Wake up, damn it," hissed Sakura, splashing the blond with water. "I didn't even hit you that hard – you're just being lazy!"

She'd already packed his bag for him, tossing his dirty clothes out uncaringly and replacing them with fresh ones. Then, she added a couple of home comforts, knowing Naruto appreciated them when he was away for a while (although their mission shouldn't last more than eight days maximum, they'd only been back in the village for an hour or two).

Groaning when he mumbled her name, she grabbed the bag and threw it at him, beating the air from his lungs. "I'll be back in fifteen minutes," Sakura informed him. "You better be ready by then _or else_."

Just as she left and prepared to slam the door, she heard his gulp.

She smirked.

_Slam_.

It didn't take long to ready her own bag seeing as it was still full from their previous mission. Like with Naruto's, she tossed out the dirty clothes as quickly as possible, using her spare five minutes to shave her legs. Shaving them while on a mission wasn't impossible, just a pain and using a henge to cover the hairs wasn't only draining, but also pointless and obvious. It was why many women chose pants and fishnets nowadays. Hell, it was why she wore boots rather than sandals or ordinary heels (that and her boots were _adorable)._

Worrying about Naruto's tardiness was pointless, she found when leaving her home, coming to a halt at the top of the stairs to admire the sight of him waiting anxiously at the bottom.

"S-See?" he said with a nervous chuckle, hand coming to the back of his head. "I'm even here to escort you to the gates."

Oh? He was after brownie points? Putting on an air of arrogance despite the warming of her heart, she descended the stairs, tipping her chin upwards slightly.

They were the last to arrive, shockingly. However, Sakura was fairly certain Kakashi's reluctant earliness was thanks to Sai, who stood off to the side, smiling. She wondered what transpired to cause such a heavy expression of tiredness on their former sensei's face, but knew it was more than likely due to Sai's endless questions that often went _way_ too personal for people's likings. He'd probably asked about the erotic novels Kakashi cherished so dearly.

"Let's try and complete this mission without any disruption," muttered Kakashi as he turned towards the gates, heaving a sigh. "It'll take us a day to reach the client, then roughly a week to reach the other village."

Meaning she was probably a civilian, though that wasn't too shocking considering she was a relative of the daimyō. She had to agree with Naruto's sudden whine of aggravation – travelling as civilians was a drag.

"Let's go."

* * *

The groom was going to be a hell of a lucky man.

Once more glancing in the client's direction, she took in the sight of her shapely legs and hips, envy curling in her stomach when her gaze continued to travel upwards. Hiding her pout was difficult and so Sakura looked away grumpily as soon as she saw the generous bumps on her chest. They were enough to give Ino a run for her money. How the hell was that fair? The client was at least a year younger than herself, yet she was so well endowed, leaving Sakura to feel like the younger of the two. Even in her travelling yukata she was stunning.

It wasn't all it was made out to be, however. She supposed she would much rather have a flat chest than be forced into an arranged marriage, to marry a complete stranger.

It'd become painfully obvious when they were leaving the client's luxurious home that she was against the marriage, her tearful eyes continuously soaking in the place she'd called home. Chances were, she wouldn't see it for the longest time, if ever again.

"So, you don't want to be married?"

Suddenly zoning back in on the conversation and out of her own self-pity, Sakura frowned between the client and Naruto, hoping he would stop asking so many questions. From the backwards glance Kakashi gave him, she knew he wanted him to shut up, too. Asking too many questions of a woman already teetering on the edge was asking for trouble and they had to complete the mission without any issues.

"Of course I want to get married," she replied with a deep sigh, brown eyes trailing up to the cloudless summer sky. "But not to someone I have never met." Then, more quietly, she confessed, "Not when I am already in love with another."

_Oh_.

Sakura winced, briefly meeting the gazes of her teammates, though quickly looked away again when she realised instantly that _she_ was the one who had to continue the conversation now. Stupid men, she wanted to grumble. Always starting stuff but never finishing it.

Instead, she stepped a bit closer to the client, offering a small, understanding smile. "Being without the one you love is painful," she admitted and ignored Naruto's saddening expression. "But sometimes… Sometimes talking helps?"

She really was beautiful, her features warming. "I wouldn't want to burden you–"

"Nonsense," Sakura assured her. "I've always said women have to be strong in order to survive, but I also believe that women should stick together and support one another in their weakest moments. That way, when the time comes to be strong once more, we can kick ass."

The client chuckled lightly, covering her mouth with her sleeve to try and hide her mirth. "I may stick to that motto."

She grinned. "Would you like to talk about the person you're in love with?"

There was a falter, her laughter fading away to a saddened look.

Sakura's heart went out to her, so painfully loud that she was surprised she couldn't physically feel it. "I'm in love with someone I can't be with," she admitted, much to the shock of her team. Pretending not to notice their startled reactions, she continued, saying, "We're two completely different people, with two completely different lives that just _can't_ connect, yet…" She smiled, glancing down to the dirt road, watching as she kicked up dust. "I still love him."

A hand fell to her shoulder heavily and she felt emotional all of a sudden as she locked gazes with Naruto, his expression downcast. "You do connect with Sasuke, Sakura-chan. He's just lost right now."

That wasn't…

"And we know he cares about you deep down, too," he continued unhelpfully. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate his comforting words, she just…

Briefly, she met Sai's stare, his eyes showing nothing of what he felt (or didn't feel, she supposed).

"He always stood by you during missions and protected you with everything–"

"Enough, Naruto," ordered Kakashi quietly, his pace slowing. For that, she was grateful, because the sudden weight on her chest was too much for her to handle.

_What would Naruto think of her if he knew the truth?_

"He sounds wonderful," the client murmured despite Kakashi's order. "I can only hope that the man I am marrying is half the person I love. However, from the things I have heard about him…"

Sighing, Kakashi faced forward once more, resuming their pace. Sakura didn't miss the backwards glance to ensure she was able to keep up and it brought a faint smile to her lips.

"You have nothing to worry about – he's a changed man now. Nothing like the rumours you've heard."

"Do you know him, Hatake-san?"

He hummed thoughtfully and pocketed his hands. "More like I know of him. The best person to ask about him is Naruto."

Sakura's stomach twisted uneasily and she felt Sai look to her at her brief falter.

_A week's travel to another village…_

_The daimyō wishing to strengthen ties…_

"Eh? Why me?" questioned Naruto cluelessly, scratching at his head.

_Don't say it._

_Don't you dare say it._

_Please, don't say it!_

"You're friends with Kazekage-sama, aren't you?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

He wondered if all love lives were as tragic as Haruno Sakura's appeared to be.

Left behind by Uchiha Sasuke. Essentially dropped without a second thought (without any warning too, considering their last encounter he'd stumbled upon) to marry the daimyo's relative by Sabaku no Gaara. Was that the norm when it came to the appraised love, or just that his teammate was severely unlucky?

It must have been her inheriting some of the Legendary Sucker's curse, because in the books he'd read, the characters weren't ever so unfortunate, no matter what life threw in their direction. They went through their own fair shares of trouble, but it was usually tied to the same person and they were given a happy ending. With the way her life was going, Sai was certain Sakura would grow to become an old spinster (apparently that was just as tragic as her luck in romance, for it was always spoken about with great trepidation, like merely thinking about it would evoke it on the person).

"Yeah, I guess I am," Naruto said thoughtfully and nodded, arms coming around his middle. Ah, that was his 'being wise' pose, when he truly believed he was clever. Sai had quickly learned that that was a lie and more often than not, Uzumaki Naruto didn't have the slightest clue what he was talking about. "Although he's always looked up to me and wanted to know more about me. Never the other way around, so I don't really know that much about him."

He was lying to boost how others viewed him again, Sai concluded. Was it normal for people to do that? Several of Team Seven's friends did the same thing.

"R-Really?" questioned their client, Fumiko. He was certain he was the only one to learn her name, as he'd yet to hear the others address her directly. "Well, what _do_ you know?"

There was a hum, followed by Naruto doing what could quite possibly be viewed as the worst thing he could do in Sakura's situation.

He compared the recent heartbreak to her old heartbreak.

Even Sai knew that was a heartless thing to do.

"He's kinda like Sasuke, in a way," he said after a few moments, rubbing his chin in a way that reminded Sai of Tenzo – or Yamato, for the duration of his being their captain. "They're both loners and have problems–"

"Problems?" their client squeaked, eyes wide and fearful.

The rumours that accompanied Sabaku no Gaara's name was enough to make anybody frightened, Sai supposed, never mind a woman who was being forced to marry him and share his bed. He was a man who'd slaughtered hundreds to his fulfil his own psychopathic urges, hellbent on destroying anyone who so much as looked at him the wrong way. One rumour in particular that stood out to Sai amongst the rest was the one of Gaara murdering his own relatives in coldblooded anger and refusing to wash the blood from his body for days. However, as Sai wasn't one who easily believed another's words, he merely took note of the rumour. He didn't believe any of them until there was proof to back them.

He wondered if Sakura ever thought about the rumours.

Glancing in her direction, he found her head bowed, features downcast and fixated on the dirt road. In that moment, she was the personification of depression as she trudged alongside them, pace slowing to the point where Kakashi altered theirs, eventually bringing them all to a halt.

For once, he was surprised he wasn't bothered by it – usually, to him, a mission was always top priority and her heartbreak was putting it at risk of failure. But in that moment, he…

"Would you like a moment, Sakura?"

The calm, somewhat softened tone of Hatake Kakashi was one Sai had very rarely, if ever heard, but he barely paid it any mind when Sakura nodded quickly because in response to his question, her jerky nod and sudden turning to disappear into the trees left behind a single tear that struck him deeply, his gaze immovable on the droplet until it splashed to the ground, the sight of it becoming engraved in his mind.

"What's wrong?" questioned Fumiko. "Did something happen?"

"I'll go after her–" Naruto began, but Sai was moving before he could, catching his arm just as the blond started to walk away.

_It was strange, he…_

"Allow me," he requested, ignoring the surprised looks that followed him as he left without another word, following the careless trail Sakura left behind and covering it simultaneously.

The sound of her sniffling caused Sai to pause several feet away from her collapsed form. The sight of her pitifulness left him unsure of how to continue with his original plan, for he'd yet to see such a hugely vulnerable side of Sakura. Yes, he'd seen her anxious and upset and downright furious, but everything about her screamed that what Sakura was experiencing in that moment was of a higher – no, a deeper level. It was enough to bring forth a sensation within him.

It was odd – the sensation, he meant. While he'd read plenty of books regarding heartbreak and grief, he'd never believed himself to be affected by it in the slightest (not even by his brother's death). Not personally and not by another's pain. Yet, there he stood watching her cry into her knees helplessly, with a strange sensation in his chest of wanting to rid Sakura of the pain she was trapped beneath.

Silently – so silently that he startled her, he realised belatedly – Sai knelt before her, taking a cue from one of his books as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

"There, there. I'm here."

But apparently, he got it all wrong. For a couple of seconds, the tears had frozen, those shockingly green eyes that he _needed_ to find the right shade of paint for glued to his, wide and surprised until she erupted with laughter.

"Oh, Sai," she gasped for breath. "No, no. That's what you say to a child – and in less of a monotone, too."

It was? Sitting back on his haunches, he watched Sakura for a while, that weird sensation fading at her mirth. "I was under the impression it was okay to use on others."

She was still giggling and wiping away the remnants of her tears as she said, "It really depends on the dynamics, I guess. But generally, that's what you'd say to a distressed infant."

Ah.

It was more difficult than he'd assumed it to be – understanding emotions, that was. Why was it not okay to use such a comfort on an adult? Was it patronising, he wondered? It must have been (as he recalled many adults bristling when they believed themselves to be spoken to like a child), though not to Sakura. His misunderstanding of social interactions seemed to have brightened her mood. While it was at his own expense, he supposed it was a good thing that she was no longer crying.

"Sorry," she eventually managed to murmur to him, her voice soft and delicate.

It reminded him of the pain she'd been displaying only moments before and in a bid to keep that odd sensation at bay, Sai turned and leaned back against the trunk with her. He wondered if he got the spacing right, as he was aware of the fact that too close suggested a more intimate setting, whereas too far was debatably unapproachable. It didn't matter what he thought. Either way, it unaffected him. Perhaps people were too caught up on social interactions and the norms?

"You didn't know," he surmised, looking to her from the corner of his eye. "About Kazekage-sama."

The words brought forth those dimples in her chin as she bit down on her lip, causing colour to surge to life on the delicate flesh when she finally freed it. That was a good shade of red, Sai noted for later.

"Of course I didn't." She didn't snap the words like he'd expected. Unlike when others bristled at the mere suspicion of their intelligence being questioned, Sakura remained meek and upset, closing in on herself further. "Gaara showed no signs of ending what we have."

Though that didn't necessarily mean he _would_ end things, he supposed. Many people – both of a higher status and regular folk – had affairs every day. Some never thought twice about the hearts and trust they were trampling on.

Had Sai been one to listen to rumours, he would have believed Sabaku no Gaara to fall under that category. His previous, cold-hearted nature made him the perfect candidate for a cheating, uncaring spouse. A man who could easily crush the life out of another person while grinning and relishing in the torment wouldn't hesitate to take what he wanted in terms of _those_ kinds of desires.

"What makes you think he would end it?"

The question seemed to catch her off guard, Sakura's eyes growing impossibly wide while trying to meet his. Having read in a book that eye contact during meaningful conversations was essential, he kept their gazes connected, wondering if he exuded the correct aura that would allow Sakura to confide in him.

He knew Sakura. He knew she was not an idiot like their third teammate, Naruto. When out on missions, he knew he could rely on her to see through traps or blatant lies, although she did continue to struggle somewhat with more personal deceits. Was that how he was supposed to take her hurting in that moment? That she was unable to see through the lies because of it being personal to her?

Haruno Sakura was impulsive and susceptible to deceit, in a way, due to her emotional, trusting nature. Had he himself confessed undying love to her, no matter how fake it would obviously be, she would more than likely fall for it. Not necessarily in terms of reciprocating his affections, but more like internalise a great struggle within herself on how to gently let the person down, as he'd seen her do so in the past. The only person she was neither gentle with nor honest with, was Naruto, in his eyes. For some reason, she allowed his blatant feelings to fester, all the while knowing she would never return them.

"Y-You don't think he would?"

She was asking for his view on the matter? That was certainly new. Up until that point she'd been standoffish on the matter, though considering it was the Kazekage she was involved with, that wasn't all that surprising. There were many connotations tied to that relationship due to their differing villages. Was she even aware of them and how dangerous things could become for her, should she step out of line in ROOT's eyes?

"I don't believe it matters what I think, as I don't know Kazekage-sama," he answered after a moment of contemplative silence. "I could tell you many different scenarios and allow you to choose which fits best, if you wish?"

The dampening of her mood returned, leaving Sakura to return to resting her chin on her lap, eyes downcast. "I already know they're going to revolve around affairs or being labelled as a concubine or–"

"Not necessarily." The thought of such labels being applied to Sakura seemed odd, like it caused a twisting in his gut. Was that an emotion, he wondered? Or simply a reaction? "You know Kazekage-sama better than the rest of us. What do you think is happening?"

"I want to say it's all just a big misunderstanding," she mumbled into her knees. The grip she had on herself tightened considerably and he eyed the redness of her skin, wondering if he was supposed to stop her from injuring herself. Or didn't it hurt when in that frame of mind? "That Gaara's gotten overruled by the councilmen and has no choice, but still that… He still could've told me."

Yes, there was still that. No matter what was happening behind the scenes, had Gaara truly cared for Sakura, he would have told her about his responsibilities as Kazekage. Granted, there were some facets she couldn't know about for the safety of his village, but seeing the pain Sakura was in was–

Oh?

Sai glanced downwards at his body, the sudden override of some form causing his mind to blank. What did that mean? Had he been straying too close to a piece of information Danzo didn't want him to have or share? Or was it his mind's natural response to shutting down any form of emotion, even if it was just the slightest of inclination towards feeling something? The latter was more likely, he supposed.

"We're supposed to be friends above all else," continued Sakura, unsuspecting to his inner-turmoil. "The fact that he felt as though he couldn't confide in me hurts the most."

"More than him marrying the woman you're so jealous of?"

Ah. That was definitely the wrong thing to ask, he concluded as a fist thumped the back of his head, accompanied by an angered growl.

"I am _not_ jealous!"

"I caught you staring at Fumiko-sama's figure many times in the past hour alone – her breasts, especially," he informed her, not missing the brief recollection as she realised Fumiko was the client's name, confirming his earlier suspicions. "Are you interested in women?"

That was certainly a new record for the shade of red her face had gone – not even Naruto had caused her to blush so hard, he believed. Although, he couldn't really say for sure due to never seeing her face when alone and intimate with Gaara–

"I'm not a lesbian!"

"You are always looking at Ino-san's breasts too, now that I think about it."

"I am not!"

Focusing on the redness of her cheeks, he leaned closer to her, taking note of the widening of her eyes, back thumping against the trunk of the tree harshly in her pitiful attempt to move away from him.

When there was only a few inches of space between them for the purpose of squeezing the truth from her (for she wasn't the best liar and Naruto often declared she couldn't lie to their faces), he asked, "Do you like breasts, Sakura?"

"What the hell have I walked into?"

Naruto's intrusion didn't break his spell as he remained focused on Sakura's raging features. In fact, he didn't move away until he was certain her bad mood was no more – and it wasn't, it appeared.

"S-Sai's being a pervert," she suddenly snapped at Naruto and shot to her feet, hands covering her cheeks.

A pervert? That was a bad label to have, Sai quickly reminded himself and stood up also, smiling placatingly at his teammates even as Naruto dragged Sakura behind his body, shielding her from him.

"You have misunderstood–"

"Don't you come any closer to my Sakura-chan, you pervert!"

"But Sakura was the one ogling Fumiko-sama–"

"I was not!"

Slowly, Naruto looked over his shoulder at her. "S-Sakura-chan… Y-You…?"

"N-No!"

They were both still rather flustered when they managed to make their way through Suna's entrance, where the Kazekage's siblings were awaiting their arrival (the whole way, he noticed Sakura refusing to look anywhere near the client, her cheeks growing redder whenever Naruto looked between the two women suspiciously).

Sai got the feeling that the female – Temari, he was reminded when Naruto greeted them cheerfully – disliked their client due to the way her gaze narrowed on her, the coldness in her features, accompanied by the tsk under her breath before spinning on her heel and stalking away, leaving Fumiko cowering into Sakura's rigid shoulder.

He had to commend Sakura, however. Her fake smile really was masterful, for the client had no idea she was being deceived, instead believing all was well with her.

It appeared Kakashi wasn't fooled as easily, though (a quieter part of Sai wondered if he was supposed to throw off his scent somehow, to keep the affair from being discovered). One look at the smile had his lone eye narrowing fractionally. Was that simply because of who he was and his skill set, or because he knew Sakura on a deeper level? Sai made a mental note to ask the Copy-Nin for advice at a later date, should he need to, because his gut instinct was telling him that it was the latter.

The smile went up a notch as they reached the Kazekage's office – not in terms of brightness, but believability. Even Sai had to do a double take to ensure she wasn't actually feeling happy about seeing the man who'd potentially ditched her for a younger, curvier woman.

But it wasn't real. No, the minute shake in her hands before she calmed herself told him of her rampaging emotions.

The meeting would be painful for her, it seemed. Was there anything he was supposed to do?

"_Oi, Gaara_," Naruto's angered voice boomed down the high ceiling halls, his presence challenging as ever as he stalked into the office with the rest of them trailing behind, ignoring Kankuro's demands to show more respect. He was waved off dismissively by the redhaired Kazekage, whose eyes found Sakura before anyone else's, Sai noticed instantly. "You've got some explaining to do!"


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 **

Sakura wasn't even sure yet if the fact he wasn't the one who ordered the escort mission made her angrier or not.

If he had, then that made zero sense in her mind because he was the freaking Kazekage and had hundreds of Suna-nin at his disposal to pick up his future wife. If he had, then that meant he'd wanted her to find out in the worst way possible and that just… It wasn't him, her heart told her vehemently. Gaara would never do something so cruel to her. But if he wasn't a cruel person, then why hadn't he told her about the impending marriage?

If he hadn't ordered them, then that meant he had no intention of telling her about the marriage and would leave her to eventually hear about it through the grapevine. That, in her eyes, was equally as cruel and again, her heart begged of her to stop assuming things without knowing the whole story.

But what other reasons were there? It wasn't like he could turn down a chance to tie his village closer to their nation – the treaty would be spectacular, potentially saving his village in a multitude of ways. Not only would the daimyō want to protect his relative should the village be under attack, but he would ensure she wouldn't starve and the such. In return, he would essentially have the Kazekage under his thumb. That was _a lot_ of power at his disposal.

"Oi, Gaara!"

Naruto either didn't notice or care to listen to Kankuro's demands for him to show more respect to the Kazekage. His challenging, demanding attitude was that of someone who didn't know their place as he stormed into the office with the rest of them trailing behind, yet somehow, Gaara didn't seem to care about his presence once he realised what team it was. He barely even gave a dismissive wave to Kankuro, his eyes already glued to hers and making her swallow hard.

The shock in his eyes was _killing her._

_He truly hadn't expected them._

"You've got some explaining to do!"

Yes. He _did_ have a lot of explaining to do.

What made the whole thing that much worse was that his future bride – Fumiko – was clinging to her desperately at the sight of Gaara, like she was going to protect her from him. Gods, if she'd had her way (which, apparently, she never could) then she would've frogmarched the woman back to her own village because _damn it_, he was _hers_.

Sakura's looking down at the woman apparently prompted Gaara to do the same and while her head had been so certain he was going to ogle her (even though it wasn't in his character to do so and thinking that way made her sound like an idiot, she scolded herself), her heart soared at the fact his gaze was drawn to their connection, frowning at the woman's hands gripping at her.

"Kazekage-sama."

Funny how she didn't even notice the councilman standing to the side of his desk, prompting Gaara into standing and bowing at the waist.

"It is nice to meet you…"

"Fumiko-sama," the elder sighed.

He didn't even know her name?

Either that made it so much worse, or better. She couldn't decide.

For the future bride it was worse, of course and Sakura sighed in response to the guilt that bloomed in her chest. She lowered her gaze from Gaara's and even though she wanted nothing more than to demand answers from him, she couldn't. Not there, at least.

Feeling another set of eyes on her, Sakura risked a glance over her shoulder, hiding her frown at Sai's indifferent stare.

Who'd have thought he would be the one to follow her? To try and comfort her? Even though he was way out of his comfort zone, Sai had stayed by her side, trying his utmost to better understand her emotions. Gods, it made her guilt for exploding on him double. He really was just trying and she wasn't making it any easier for him.

"You are all welcome to stay the night," Gaara informed her team. She knew it was solely because in Suna, they would be given separate rooms to sleep in, meaning he had the chance to slip into hers in the middle of the night to talk. But she wasn't sure she wanted that – not because she was childish and didn't want to talk, but because that connection between them, their chemistry, was powerful and difficult to ignore. "I will have rooms set up for you."

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Naruto nodding in a haughty manner, saying that it would do. Usually, she would have slapped some sense into him, but she couldn't be bothered in that moment and it seemed to concern him, for Naruto shot her a worried glance when he realised she didn't do anything.

Sakura kept her eyes forward.

"I take it you arrived without any issues," concluded Kankuro stiffly, looking between them.

Kakashi responded with his cheery smile, giving nothing away much to her gratefulness. If there was anyone she could rely on to have her back in awkward social situations, then it was undoubtedly him. "You could say that."

"If that is all," one elder said. "You are dismissed. The Kazekage has a wedding to prepare for."

Oh, _that_ stung.

"Which I still need to talk to you about," declared Naruto, pointing rudely at the redhead. "Come find me when you're free, got it?"

"Naruto, he's the Kazekage-"

"And my friend." He shot a glare to Gaara. "Right?"

A reluctant ghost of smile crossed his features, effectively making the pain in her heart worsen. "Right."

When they turned to leave, Sakura paused and sighed at the woman who continued to cling to her, doing her best to shove aside her own unhappiness to try and empathise better with her. It wasn't like it was her fault, was it? Clearly, she was completely against the marriage and had even said she was in love with someone back in her village.

She looked to Fumiko, smiling when she wanted nothing more than to scream her frustrations. "Don't worry, Kazekage-sama is a good guy."

Could they tell she was on the edge?

Could they tell her smile was fake?

It didn't matter.

Her gaze travelled to Gaara's, holding it. "He's not the type to hurt someone he loves."

And then she pulled away, leaving the couple behind in the office.

* * *

It was at her request that her team allowed her the rest of the day to herself.

Usually, when in a different village (that were on friendly terms with Konoha, of course), Sakura loved to explore, shop around and try out new foods to pass the time. But in that moment in time, she was way too lost in her own head and heart to enjoy any of it and knew she would inevitably drag the mood down for her teammates.

She paced in her room, rubbing at her forehead until it was as vibrant in colour as her hair – which only added to her frustration, making her groan with annoyance. Like she needed to look ridiculous on top of everything else!

Then again, she already did, didn't she?

While Sakura had never been certain of the future of her relationship with Sabaku no Gaara, she'd always been certain that he'd never be so careless with her heart. But he'd been downright cruel, hadn't he?

_No, stop it!_

She wouldn't cry. Not again. Not over another man.

If Gaara really thought so little of her as to throw the past few months away like they meant nothing, then she'd stand back and let him. As much as it pained her, it wouldn't be the end of the world. She would persevere like the kunoichi she was, would dust herself the hell off and get back to work. She couldn't let herself grow so distracted by agonising over a man who probably didn't even feel the same way as her, could she? Not again, anyway.

Growling under her breath, she yanked a scroll from her pack and sat down on her bed with it, crossing her legs and leaning back against the headboard. If there was anything in the world that could take her mind off her problems, then it was a new jutsu or learning about a poison.

And it did. It was hours later when she was finally dragged out of her scroll and Sakura frowned at the door, heart sinking when she answered and found it wasn't Gaara – it was her team inviting her out to dinner and as much as she wanted to cancel, she couldn't do that to them. They were reaching out to her, no doubt trying to get her out of her own head to keep her from falling down that dark hole of despair.

What would Kakashi and Naruto say if they knew the truth? Would they believe she'd betrayed Sasuke too? Sakura couldn't help but let her thoughts wander and conjure up scenarios that would most likely never happen, effectively tuning out Naruto's excited chatter as they meandered to a food stall.

They were staying at a large inn for the duration of their stay in Suna, one that was a fair distance from the centre of the village (she wondered if that was done purposely, to minimise the risks of Gaara being caught _if_ he decided to visit her afterwards), so their walk felt like it lasted a lifetime due to the intense heat that bore down on them without mercy.

"It's crazy to think Gaara's getting married," continued Naruto, leaving Sakura with an intense urge to bash her own head into the nearest wall repeatedly, just to block him out permanently. "He's our age, right?"

"A year older," she answered, since he'd been looking her way.

It was still pretty young, though she assumed she was just thinking such a way because she was bitter about the whole ordeal. While she didn't want to be the one marrying Gaara per se (at least not at such a young age and not after a few months of being together), she still wanted to be with him and she wasn't above admitting to being jealous of Fumiko.

Throughout dinner, she could feel Sai's gaze glued to her every move, analysing everything she did, but she couldn't bring herself to be annoyed by it. Even if he _was_ being way too militant with it all, at least he was showing an interest and was trying to understand her. Well, that was what she continuously told herself whenever she caught him staring, especially when the others didn't fail to notice, either.

"Oi, Kakashi-sensei?" Kakashi hummed, looking to Naruto from over his book. Apparently the blond wasn't deterred by his disinterested stare, because he asked loud enough for the rest of the food stall to hear, "Some people are late bloomers, right?"

The dejected sigh spoke of the thousands of different topics their former sensei would have rather been discussing in that moment. "I suppose."

It was with a mischievous snicker that he leaned ever closer, nudging the older man. "Sensei, I think Sai's got his first crush!"

_That_ certainly knocked her out of her funk.

Sakura whirled in her stool, prepared for unleashing hell on her idiotic teammate but she was sadly beaten to the punch.

"A crush?"

She deflated almost comically, because surely by now, Sai had to have known he was opening a door that should _never_ under any circumstances be opened?

"On Sakura-chan!"

"On…?" Her cheeks coloured horrifically when all three men of the team observed her closely, their assessments leaving her wishing for the ground to swallow her whole. "Hmm, is that so?"

"What's so _hmm _about it?" demanded Naruto like he'd just been gravely disrespected. "Sakura-chan's way out of your league!"

The blush deepened.

"How so?"

"Because… Because she's Sakura-chan!"

Green eyes drifted upwards to the ceiling of the food stall, begging for some kind of deity to suddenly strike it and kill them all, because seriously, she couldn't deal with any of it.

"That is a naïve reason," stated Sai.

"You-"

"Enough," she finally yelled, losing her temper. "I came out to eat something decent after travelling for so long, not to sit and listen to you guys arguing like kids!"

She knew she got her point across when even Sai fell silent, staring ahead of himself to avoid angering her further.

Fortunately for all of those who witnessed her fury: dinner went well after that point. Conversation remained light-hearted and simple, ranging from how weird yet delicious their meals were, to how quickly they thought they could make it home if they ran at full speed, to haircuts.

It was much chillier when they returned to the inn, admiring the changes in the village when the sun set.

Contrary to what people often believed: Suna wasn't a bad place to be. In fact, Sakura always enjoyed her time there and it had nothing to do with her relationship with Gaara. While the villagers _were_ a little on the rough side, it was only because they were traditional and their beliefs differed from her own. As long as she respected their culture while in their village, then they were polite to her.

Everything was so different from Konoha, too. The food, the lack of greenery, the buildings… Everything. But for some reason, she still enjoyed it. She loved perusing the stalls and stores to check out their goods, or spending her time admiring the medicinal herbs that Konoha could never grow due to their environment. She also loved witnessing the differences in their training, for they were undoubtedly harsher on their students, training them to never show fear or weakness.

"You're lucky you get your own room." An arm came around her shoulders, tugging her close to his side. "I have to share with Sai and Kakashi-sensei."

She smirked at that, though soon sent her poor old sensei an empathetic smile when Sai began a round of questions on his beloved Icha Icha, starting off with the hardest question of them all: was the smut exaggerated, or was sex really like that when in love?

Snickering, she detangled herself from Naruto's one-armed embrace, waving her goodbyes to her team before escaping while she still had the chance.

The cheery display vanished when she shut the door, leaning back against it with a sigh.

She loved her team. She really did. But sometimes she needed time to herself to simply… cope. While she adored that they offered her a distraction when she needed it, sometimes she really needed time away to sort through her thoughts and emotions.

"Sakura."

She jolted upright, eyes wide as a figure stood from their seat on the edge of her bed. It was too dark to see any features, but she would have known it was him even if he hadn't said her name.

_No, don't cry!_

Instead, she set her jaw, stance strengthening. "What are you doing here?"

There was no use in questioning how he got in when she'd locked up – he was the Kazekage. Moreover, he was Sabaku no Gaara. Locks and traps were pointless against such a force.

"You have every right to be angry."

Damn right she did – she didn't need him to tell her that or make it feel as though she needed his permission to be angry. What he'd done to her was cruel and humiliating, because what the hell did he think of her to treat her in such a way? That she was nothing more than an easy lay?

She'd…

She'd honestly believed she meant more to him than that.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Sakura questioned, keeping a firm grasp on her anger. Being angry was better than crying. It was better than letting her heart take a public lashing _again_. She'd learned that the hard way. "Surely, you've known about the marriage for longer than a week?"

Gaara sighed at that and reached for the lamp on her nightstand, switching it on to better see her features. If he experienced anything seeing her furious glare, however, he kept it to himself. Like she was protecting her heart in that moment, he always protected his, hiding it behind his cold mask of indifference.

"The marriage was decided by the council," he explained to her patiently. "I wanted to tell you the last time we were together."

"But?"

He met her eye without hesitation, sighing again. "But I allowed my emotions to get the better of me."

Meaning he'd been just as caught up in the moment as she'd been.

While she knew Gaara wasn't completely emotionless, Sakura still knew he was in much better control of them than she would ever be of hers. To know that he'd lost that control in response to seeing her threatened to open up her heart again, to let him in without a second thought to the consequences.

Considering he was being so open with his emotions (in addition to the fact that neither Kakashi nor Sai had sensed his presence), Sakura concluded that the room was sealed, though that wasn't too surprising. They couldn't allow their relationship to be discovered while it was in such a delicate stage. Would they share it one day? Perhaps. But Sakura knew they had to tread carefully due to not only being from different villages, but also because he was the Kazekage (meaning it could affect the treaty should things end badly).

Just as Gaara attempted to close the distance between them, Sakura held out her hand, stopping him and pretending _not_ to see the flash of hurt. "No. We're still talking."

"Sakura-"

"I get that this may be against your wishes and that it's for the sake of the village," she began, frowning at him. "But surely you have _some_ say in it?"

"The council-"

"You're the goddamn Kazekage – you're _Sabaku no Gaara_," she snarled suddenly, unable to stand his pitiful passing the blame. "Since when the hell do _you_ take orders?"

She'd sat in many meetings between Tsunade and the elders and had picked up on the fact that, while their input _was_ important and their advice should not be ignored entirely, they didn't _have_ to follow them to the finest detail. The amount of times her shishou had bulldozed her way through those meetings with her hard head was both humorous and admirable, because she refused to lay back and take their shit. And Tsunade sure as hell wouldn't allow them to bully her into an arranged marriage, so why the hell was he? Why was Gaara, of all the freaking people, letting his council trample all over him? It was so out of character that it _hurt_.

"People are still wary of me," Gaara told her, unaffected by her raised voice (not that it surprised her). That only confirmed that her room was sealed off, refusing to let anyone listen in. "The council explained that this would be the best way to help the villagers and other villages see that I am a changed man."

Did it make sense? Totally. Everyone loved a hard working family man.

Did she accept it? Like hell.

She was so freaking tired of people stamping all over her heart like it meant _nothing_ to them.

"And what about us?" There was no strength behind her words like she'd wanted there to be. Instead, she came across as weary, her heart stuttering painfully. Holding back her emotions was growing harder by the second and she knew that if the conversation continued for much longer, she would break down regardless of her wishes to be strong. It seemed she still had a long way to go in terms of emotional maturity. "Where does that leave us?"

"I…" It _floored her_ when his voice trailed off, brow furrowing ever so slightly with his struggle to also remained composed. "I don't know."

And that _killed_ her.

But she wouldn't beg or cry. She wouldn't demand that he reconsidered his choices. If Gaara was set on pleasing his council and village, on putting it all before their relationship, then clearly he was not the guy for her.

"Then I think-" She cut herself off, shaking her head and swallowing hard, reining in the last of her control. "I will _never_ be the other woman," Sakura told him firmly and met his eye, ensuring it really hit him that this was it. "I will never hurt people or destroy their trust like that. So, if you go through with the marriage, then this – _we_ – are over."

He didn't fight the frown that time, his hand reaching out to her but like before, she held up her own, refusing the contact.

"I'm sorry, but Fumiko-san deserves more than a loveless marriage with an unfaithful man," Sakura muttered, expression serious. "And I'm worth far more than being your other woman."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"Another night?"

It was understandable that he was suspicious, he informed himself as their team sat down at the dining table.

They should have been packed and ready to set out within the hour, before dawn, but it appeared he was the only one who had brought his pack to breakfast with him. When he questioned the others regarding that fact, Naruto had joyfully informed him that the Kazekage required them to stay another night, due to negotiations of some form.

Nonchalantly, Sai allowed his gaze to travel to the only female of their team, assessing her haggard appearance and immediately deciding it was not down to the affair. Had there been any interaction between the two? He was unsure. However, if there had been, it certainly wasn't pleasant – that much he did know. It was obvious from her posture alone, for she sat like a weary woman who was barely clinging to her composure (and Haruno Sakura, as everyone was already well aware, had the worst composure he'd ever come across).

"It _is_ unusual," Kakashi relented. Sai wasn't surprised that his dish was already empty, save for a few crumbs marring the patterned porcelain. "Our job is done. Should the engagement require more negotiations, then that is between the daimyō and Kazekage-sama."

The carefree blond shrugged while all but inhaling his food. "I don't know what Gaara's thinking. He just said stick around."

It was because of Sakura, no doubt. Once more glancing her way, Sai took note of the unyielding grip on her chopsticks and the faint down turning of her lips. He wanted to warn her to be more inconspicuous with her foul mood, otherwise Kakashi would absolutely pick up on it, if he hadn't already, and would proceed to unknowingly find himself on the path to discovering the affair.

He wondered what one of Konoha's greatest prodigies would do with such knowledge. Unlike himself, there were a number of routes available to Kakashi since he was well-versed with social interactions and cues. Sai knew he was capable of discreetly extracting information from a person, but Kakashi had the greater advantage of such a task due to his social standing. He, on the other hand, was often labelled as awkward or clueless. His asking around would garner too much attention.

Would his involvement be a bad thing? Potentially. Hatake Kakashi was a private man, meaning he valued another's privacy, also. But would that kindness change if he believed the village was in danger? Was he capable of acting selfishly if he decided he didn't want there to be a future for the Kazekage and their teammate? Could he follow an order of exterminating a possible threat to their village, even if it meant taking out his former student?

No, that would never happen. For starters, Kakashi was no longer an active member of ANBU, even though Sai knew he took the occasional mission every so often when they required a skill set of his calibre. That meant he answered only to the Hokage, which lead to his second point: their Hokage would never put a target on Sakura's back. She was her student and someone he believed she cared for dearly, going strictly off the way they interacted with one another. She was too loved by the pair of them to be harmed by them or their orders.

"_Ah! _O-Oi, do you think he's finally ready for a rematch?" Naruto suddenly demanded with a scream of horror. "I know I kept bugging him for it, but-"

"A rematch?" he questioned.

The blond was nodding quickly, features paling considerably as he recounted the details of their previous battle, and how he'd basically harassed the Kazekage for a rematch so that he could defeat him again. He'd been messing with him, Naruto tried to tell them with an unsteady laugh, but he was worried now that his joke was misunderstood as a serious wish.

"I can't do that again, Sakura-chan," he whined. Trying to rouse her from her despair, Naruto bravely shook their more often than not violent teammate. "You saw how strong he was!"

As expected, since their team was nothing if not predictable, Sakura finally had enough and exploded with that spectacular rage of hers, leaving Sai to watch with parting lips as she lurched to her feet and gripped Naruto's head. It was always a sight to behold whenever she displayed her raw strength, the sight of Naruto's flailing limbs as he was tossed about like a rag doll evoking a chuckle from their team captain.

"He always knows how to bring the life back into her eyes," remarked Kakashi.

Sai wasn't sure if he was imagining the gratefulness in his tone, but upon adjusting his seat to the right slightly, he found that he wasn't. There was a warmth in the Copy-Nin's lone eye, one that was accompanied with a dim tranquillity Sai found he couldn't understand in the slightest.

"I always assumed Naruto to be nothing more than an idiot," he responded, voice lost in the chaos created by the struggling pair.

It was a good thing there were no other guests to witness the immaturity of Konoha-nin, Sai thought as Sakura's foot connected with his chin, allowing her to clamber back to her feet after launching Naruto across the dining hall. While he sometimes appreciated that childishness that brought life to their team, at that moment in time, they were on a mission in another village. They were supposed to be professional.

"Oh, he is. Without a doubt," came Kakashi's cheerful reply, his eye creasing with the smile hidden behind his mask. "However, when it comes to his friends – or, more specifically, Sakura – he's seemingly in tune with their emotions."

Was that really okay, though? What was worse: having a teammate with a bad mood, or having their professionalism brought into question by teammates goofing around during a mission? He wasn't sure. Usually, he would have chosen the latter, but witnessing Kakashi's happiness and acceptance of their childishness caused Sai to question himself.

"He's plays up his idiocy."

"Knowing it will evoke a reaction and force Sakura out of her funk," Kakashi added.

Was that why they were so close, because Naruto could read her?

No. Clearly, he couldn't read her that well considering he'd mistaken her heartache for Gaara as heartache over Uchiha Sasuke. It wasn't just that Naruto had failed to see the signs that she was involved with another, it was more so the fact that he missed cues even Sai had managed to pick up on, such as her sadness after the mentioning of the wedding between the client and Gaara and how her sadness deepened the closer they got to Suna and to Gaara.

Or was that because he knew about the affair? Was he only seeing the signs because he already knew that there was a connection?

"What should we do today?" asked Naruto once it was safe for him to sit down once more.

The aura of darkness that had surrounded Sakura appeared to have dissipated for the time being, Sai noted. Regardless of his knowing her or not, Naruto was still able to help her out.

"We could explore the village?" she offered with a hopeful smile, eyes – the eyes that were made up of a variety of wonderful shades to make that perfect green she boasted – bright with excitement. "We're rarely here long enough to look around."

Laying low was probably a better–

"I don't see why not," Kakashi agreed, beating him to the punch.

Once more, their professionalism was brought into question as the paired sprung to their feet with cheerful yells and punches to the air.

* * *

In terms of progress, their day had been wasted exploring Suna. From his perspective, it was a village that lacked in many aspects and didn't have much to offer him, however, he found it to be quite an experience witnessing Sakura's enthusiasm over the smallest of items.

While irksome, the weather hadn't affected him much physically. Still, that didn't stop his teammates from requiring sustenance every so often, making continuous stops at stalls and wasting more time and money while doing so. He wondered why Kakashi hadn't complained, instead allowing the pair to take full control of their team's agenda.

Sai understood that they were being forced to stay unnecessarily (after all, it was inappropriate disagreeing with the Kazekage on his decisions), however, what he didn't understand was why their team didn't take advantage of the harsh environment and train their bodies to endure it. Instead, they'd chosen to frolic around and make fools of themselves while doing so.

In their own village, he didn't mind their antics and found them to be quite entertaining and informative. In foreign territory, when there were enemies lurking, he found it improper and Kakashi's allowing them to get away with it more so.

"Sheesh," he overheard Naruto muttering as they each went their separate ways. His room happened to be the furthest from the blond's, though he speculated if Kakashi had planned it as such. "He's been in a bad mood all damn day."

Oh? Was Naruto complaining about him?

"Because he's not used to having downtime on a mission," argued Sakura, voice hushed like she was wary of him overhearing. Was that what his book meant about consideration? Was she worried for his well being? "But…" Sai glanced over his shoulder in time to witness Sakura turning to face forward once more, informing him she'd looked his way. "I wish he could have had fun with us."

"Tch. Like he'd ever…"

Sai was surprised by his initial reaction to tail the pair – and that in itself was a concern, for he wasn't supposed to feel emotions such as surprise or even a want to know more. Just listening in for as long as he had was out of character for him, he thought.

Perhaps that was a matter great enough to notify Danzo about?

He paused upon entering his room, frozen by the odd realisation that he _didn't want_ to tell him.

_What was happening to him?_

It was too unusual and quite frankly, he wasn't sure how to handle the situation or the feeling bearing down on him. So, he did the first thing that came to mind and left his room, going to the medic of their team because surely, Sakura would have some kind of answer for him?

However, he once more froze when he entered her room only moments after herself, a sharp _squeeze_ of his chest leaving him immobilised at her pitiful form hunched over on the foot of her bed. Masses of pink hair was tangled between her fingers, the shaking of her shoulders unmistakable and telling him she was crying, even though her face was shielded from a mixture of her arms and hair.

Then, there was the cry.

Sai had heard her cry before. He'd seen her break down countless times. He honestly couldn't recall such a cry, though. It resounded within him, trapped in the cavity of his chest and leaving him victim to the pain that caused him to sound his presence and startle Sakura.

"W-What're you doing?" she demanded while turning away and wiping furiously at her face. "Get out!"

"Sakura, I-"

"_Get out!"_

He recalled a snippet from the book he was currently reading to better understand emotions, his mind racing through the passage.

"_Each individual has their own triggers that will evoke bursts of anger or rage, though there are several mutual prompts that can include circumstances in which a person may feel: threatened or attacked, frustrated or powerless, like they are being invalidated or treated unfairly, like people are not respecting their feelings or possessions."_

He knew he didn't understand feelings enough to accidentally cause disrespect, just as he knew from a previous book that his presence in that moment could cause Sakura to feel threatened or attacked. Perhaps she was even frustrated with his inability to understand, as she'd mentioned the other day?

But none of that explained the unbearable pain in his chest, the one that only grew at the sounds of her despair.

"Sakura-"

She was on her feet in an instant, glaring at him with bloodshot eyes and an expression of disbelieving shame and anger. "I said get out already!"

"I-" How did he word the pain when he couldn't understand it? Hand coming to his chest where it hurt the most, he said the first thought that came to mind, no matter how ridiculous it seemed when he heard it out loud. "I seem to be experiencing chest pain, though I don't believe I am dying."

"You-"

Was he wrong? He couldn't understand why she had stopped so suddenly – her anger vanishing at the mere meeting of their gazes.

And then those tears started up again.

"Sai… You're…"

He…?

Why wouldn't she say it already? Was he dying? Was that why his vision was growing blurred?

Sakura approached slowly, worsening the unidentifiable emotions he was experiencing when she reached out, surprising him by gently running her thumb beneath his eye and prompting him to check the appendage with widening eyes, because _why was it wet?_

"You're not dying – you're hurting for me," she explained softly, staring up at him with tearful, kind eyes.

Hurting for her? "What does that mean?"

There was no annoyance or frustration. It seemed whatever was happening to him had moved her emotionally. "It means… I guess it means you're understanding."

But why did that give him the impression that it would be more trouble than not understanding?


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Remaining in a state of awe even as they spoke into the early hours of the morning, Sakura watched Sai's usually impassive expression, soaking up the unusual sight of his recently discovered emotions.

It was obvious he didn't understand them fully or was working hard to regain his composure once more, or that he'd only experienced it in response to her own pain, but Sakura was astonished, nonetheless. And try as she might to keep that from showing for fear of making him uncomfortable, it was impossible. During each mundane topic they discussed, she continuously found her mind wandering.

"It's dawn," Sai informed her when she yawned, shifting the curtain back to its original spot. "I should go."

Despite nothing happening between them or the fact anything like _that_ was the furthest thing from either of their minds, Sakura knew his being there wouldn't look good, especially not if they were seen by the wrong people. Mainly Naruto or Gaara–

No, Gaara didn't count anymore… did he?

_Did he?_

Gods, what was he thinking? Why demand them to remain in his village for another night? To torture her with the sight of him and his future wife? No, it couldn't have been for that reason. Gaara had the potential to be ruthless, sure, but in their time together – hell, since he changed – he'd never been cruel. Not to her, anyway.

Pausing at the door, Sai glanced over his shoulder before turning fully, hand still resting on the doorknob as he asked, "Will you be okay?"

She paused at the question, though found herself smiling a moment later. Sai certainly wasn't as bad as she'd originally thought him to be, and although he'd made several regretful mistakes in his learning of social interactions and emotions, Sakura believed he'd hit the nail on the head with understanding her that night. How could she not get that impression when he'd cried seeing her pain?

"Don't worry about me," she assured him with a warm smile. "It'll take more than a breakup to keep me down."

It certainly wasn't her first heartbreak and with how tragic her love life appeared to be, the pessimistic side of her knew it wouldn't be the last, even though she hoped otherwise.

He was still figuring out the smile, but the one he gifted her with in that moment was still charming, because Sakura could see how hard he was trying to express his newly awakened emotions.

"Good. See you."

Even after the door shut, she remained stood there, gaze growing distant as she was forced to wallow in her own heartbreak and self-pity. Part of her wanted to ask Sai to return, simply so she wouldn't be alone with her thoughts. Even when they'd fallen into prolonged silences, it was comfortable and her mindset was, well, at least she wasn't alone while lost in such dark thoughts. With Sai by her side, they'd felt bearable.

For all her talk on refusing to be Gaara's other woman and deserving more than that, she felt strangely hollow inside walking away entirely, like her heart yearned for her to go through with the shameful secret regardless. Of course, she would never do that, but it both saddened and frustrated Sakura that her heart was so weak.

_Why was she so weak?_

* * *

She jolted awake unexpectedly, spending several moments attempting to find her bearings. When nothing came to her, she tiredly wiped at her chin at the odd tight sensation found there, grimacing at the dried drool.

Daylight filtered into the room through the slight gaps of the curtain, the long streaks of light only reaching the ground and the very bottom of the furthest wall. It wasn't enough to tell what time of day it was, and Sakura cursed herself for falling asleep at dawn. Tiredness was not an excuse – not when it was self-inflicted – and to give into her body's needs was unprofessional. She–

A lazy knock on her door alerted her to the fact it was more than likely the cause of her waking up. Frowning and attempting to ignore the palpitating of her heart as she foolishly hoped it to be a certain redhead, Sakura climbed off the bed, once more chiding herself for falling asleep in her clothes on top of the covers. But of course, she hadn't wanted to dress down with Sai in the room, in addition to knowing that they would be staying up for a while.

"Kakashi-sensei?" she murmured curiously, only for her eyes to widen dramatically at how bright the hallway was. "What time is it?"

He hummed thoughtfully, rubbing his masked chin. "About midday."

Midday? "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to sleep in. I didn't–"

"Get much sleep," Kakashi noted, though not unkindly. He sighed and gestured with a tip of his chin for her to go back into her room. "We shouldn't really discuss team dynamics in the hallway, Sakura."

What?

_What?_

"What do you mean?" Sakura questioned unsurely. She stepped aside anyway, allowing him entry. Fortunately for her, aside from the gifts she'd purchased while perusing the markets in Suna, her room was spotless so there was no fear of him stumbling across anything embarrassing. "Did something happen?"

"That's what I need to ask you."

"…Eh?"

Instead of joining her at the table in her room, Kakashi remained standing in the centre of it, his body language informing Sakura that it wouldn't be a pleasant conversation they were about to have. No, if the tension in the air was anything to go by, then they were about to potentially butt heads. She grimaced. The last thing she ever wanted to do was go against her former sensei.

"Sai's room was unused last night," Kakashi commented lightly. Even though he pocketed his hands and was using a carefree tone, Sakura could sense the conversation was anything but. "And I can smell that he was here recently."

What she wanted to say was that it was none of his damn business who was in her room, when or why. But… it kind of _was_ his business. Well, it wasn't so much that he had a right to know, but kind of that he _had_ to.

There was another heavy sigh and he finally joined her at the table. "As you know, I try to avoid involving myself in another's personal matters, especially if it doesn't concern me." She nodded understandingly. In all the time she'd known him, he'd never interfered. Not once. Not unless her life was in danger. "As captain, however, I have to take note of all risk factors and a relationship between teammates is one of the greatest, since as you personally know, it creates a conflict of interests."

Essentially meaning one or both of them could either get themselves injured or killed trying to protect one another. There was also the risk of missions being jeopardised by teammates being involved. It was actually one of the bigger causes of admissions in the hospitals.

There'd been many times when she'd foolishly and helplessly thrown herself in harm's way trying to protect Sasuke, ruled entirely by her childish heart while knowing in her mind that he was more than capable of protecting himself. If anything, she made the likelihood of his being harmed higher, because he'd then felt as though he _had_ to save her.

"You're wrong, Kakashi-sensei," she said quickly, stopping him just as he was about to continue. "Sai wasn't… It's not like that."

Taking herself out of the equation altogether (because the idea of them being together that way was just so… unlikely), for anything to even happen involving him and romance, Sai _had_ to understand his feelings better – not just emotions, but how he was _feeling_, which was a huge difference, in her eyes. Not only for himself and his own happiness and _safety _in the relationship, but the other person's too.

Love was confusing enough as it was but paired with his general unawareness of his emotions and feelings left him way too vulnerable for her liking. She wasn't insinuating that he couldn't take care of himself physically, but there was always that chance that someone with impure intentions could take advantage of his struggles. They could potentially ruin all progress he'd been making in relearning his emotions, could make him question why he'd tried so hard to understand in the first place if it only led to more pain. Could make him feel how _she_ often felt. And just the thought of that happening to him tore at her heart.

But how was she supposed to tell Kakashi all of that?

"Then what is it?" he questioned.

What was it? "Friends confiding in one another. He's…" Sakura shook her head, unsure as to how much she could share with him since it wasn't her experience to tell. But… Didn't it fall under risk factors? "The place where he grew up did a number on him, huh?" When all that met her was silence, green eyes saddened, drifting down to the space between them on the table. "He came to me last night because he was experiencing emotions without knowing they were emotions."

Realisation had Kakashi sighing again and she was relieved to find no distrust or annoyance in his gaze. Only understanding. "And naturally, he came to a medic-nin he trusts." Another pause and she looked up when he continued. "I won't ask what transpired – I know you're bound by patient confidentiality in this case – but as captain, I will ask you professionally: will this affect missions?"

She inhaled deeply at that. If she pushed aside emotion and answered honestly as a professional? Then yes. Sai's sudden discovery of emotions and struggling to understand them _could_ lead to risks on missions. Last night, she'd witnessed first-hand that he was affected by her emotional agony and during missions, there was always that risk that she would experience some form of pain. That could lead to his unnecessary involvement during sticky situations, which could, in turn, lead to injury or death.

"Yeah. It could affect missions. However, taking him out of the team could do more harm than good – for him, at least," answered Sakura honestly. "I'm not a specialist in this area, but even I know that it'll be as good as telling him he's wrong for experiencing these feelings. It's detrimental to his emotional – perhaps even mental – well-being that we don't kick up a fuss about it and essentially punish him for finally beginning to understand."

There was silence for a few moments, a contemplative silence where Kakashi regarded her to the point where Sakura felt unsure of herself. However, she refused to fidget or show her nerves in front of a superior she admired. Instead, she tried her best to remain tall and proud, standing her ground and remaining resolute in her words.

But what did she do if Kakashi argued? What if he believed she was bringing her emotions into the decision, because she'd witnessed just how hard Sai struggled to understand them all?

"Is it any different from Naruto and his tendency to allow his emotions to rule him?" she demanded, heart seizing in her chest because as much as she admired Kakashi and never wanted to disobey a superior, she would butt heads with him all damn day if she saw even a slither of a chance of Sai being removed from the team. "He's always causing trouble on missions and always allowing himself to get riled up. Tell me, Kakashi-sensei, what makes Sai any different? Why can we excuse Naruto's behaviour, but penalise Sai for his?"

"I understand that you care deeply for your teammates, but calm down, Sakura. I'm not arguing with you," he stated firmly, his frown unsettling her. "Sai is an integral part of this team now. I know many see him as nothing more than Sasuke's replacement, but we don't. _I don't_."

She sucked in a sharp breath, both from the mentioning of Sasuke's name and the realisations that Kakashi was willing to fight for Sai, too.

"We will defend Sai just as we would any other member of Team Seven," Kakashi soon continued. His single eye narrowed, brow furrowing. "Whether that be on missions or against superiors if they go against our decisions to keep him on our team."

"Even with the risks?" she asked meekly, eyebrows puckering hopefully.

He nodded once resolutely. "Even with the risks."

Sakura's sudden grin was wide and happy, and she noticed the way Kakashi's eye creased with warmth.

"Those who abandon their friends are worse than scum," she repeated their team's mantra.

"Aa."

Knowing Kakashi was well and truly won over, she felt herself slumping with relief. Even though the concern had lasted minutes, if that, it'd certainly taken it out of her.

"Come on," ordered Kakashi lightly. He stood with a grunt, like merely standing exhausted him but she knew it to be for show, unless he spent the morning sparring with Naruto and Sai. "You need to eat before our meeting with the Kazekage."

Wait, what? Why were they having a meeting with Gaara? Like it wasn't strange enough that they were being asked to linger in Suna when their mission was officially over, now they had to meet with him again? Hadn't the salt been rubbed in hard enough already?

"Why?" Sakura asked disbelievingly, trying so very hard to hide the fact her heart was currently shredded to pieces by the man they had to meet. "We should be halfway home by now."

"Who knows?" Kakashi sighed. Offering a one-armed shrug, he made his way to the door, pocketing one hand. "But we can't disobey a direct order from the Kazekage. It could cause trouble for Tsunade-sama."

Copying his weighted sigh, she followed after him, but the moment they left her bedroom she heard the voices of the councilmen. Kakashi did, too. And she could tell he was about to announce their presence, however for the first time ever, she beat him to the punch by dragging the Copy-Nin back into her room and shutting the door to. She found herself holding her breath in anticipation as a single green eye peered through the tiniest of cracks, watching and waiting for them to show themselves.

And they did. Complaining loudly, too.

"_This will reflect badly on Suna. Should the __daimyō's_ _niece feel humiliated enough, it could come back to bite us later."_

Sakura frowned and ignored her former sensei's huff as he leaned his side into the wall next to her, staring down at her questioningly.

"_And to send _us_ to break the news! Has the Kazekage no shame?"_

Her eyes widened.

Surely…?

"_It is not that he has no shame – he straight up doesn't care for the girl."_

"_Well, it is that unconcerned mindset of his that is going to run this village into the ground."_

Oh, Gods. What had Gaara done now? He knew that the councilmen didn't like him already. Why was he pushing his luck?

_What had he done?_

"_This marriage was supposed to tie our village closer to the Land of Fire,"_ continued one of the elders gruffly. If she wasn't mistaken, then they were closer to the other end of the corridor now and she despaired at the thought of them disappearing before she'd heard the end of their conversation. "_What do we do now that he has ended it in such a humiliating way for the __daimyō__? To send her back like nothing more than goods…"_

And they were gone, but that was fine, Sakura decided as she continued to stare out into the minuscule amount of hallway she could see. It was fine because she'd heard all she'd needed to.

Gaara rejected the marriage.

Did that…?

_No, don't get caught up in it,_ Sakura warned herself, trying and failing to ignore the rampant beating of her heart and the threatening stinging of her eyes. She had no right to hope he'd ended it for her. It was foolish of her to do so. What were the chances of someone like her – someone so far below him in status and from a different freaking village – having enough power over _Sabaku no Gaara _to cause such a rash decision on his part?

But, the chances…

_Stop it,_ she snapped.

"Sakura," came the sing-song voice of her former sensei. His hand came to her head in a playful pat, and she was grateful to be yanked out of her dangerously hopeful thoughts. "Mind explaining yourself? That was awfully rude to listen in on Suna's private matters."

Wasn't really private when they were complaining so loudly in such a public area, Sakura wanted to snap back in response. However, she held back the sharp reply and instead told him, "Are you kidding me, Kakashi-sensei? Do you _know_ what Ino would do to me if I returned home and didn't give her the juiciest piece of gossip from Suna?"

The lie was mulled over, but she knew she'd won Kakashi over. It seemed her superficial days back before everything fell apart had done a number on him, and he'd yet to see her growth in maturity. As much as it should have disheartened her, in that moment, she was too grateful for it all. The lie _had_ to work, because what the hell would happen if he found out about the affair?

Keeping Sai's emotional awakening was one thing. Keeping an affair between the Hokage's apprentice and the Kazekage was simply asking for way too much.

"So?"

She frowned up at him, anxiety biting at her heart and making her stomach hurt. "So?"

"Are we going for lunch, or not?"

It was bought. Holy crap, her lie was bought.

Not taking any chances, she was quick to agree with a grin.


End file.
